


Constants & Variables

by anodyneAvian



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Community: snkkink, Gen, POV Multiple, Spoilers for Chapter 50 and beyond
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-15 23:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1324078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anodyneAvian/pseuds/anodyneAvian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[De-anon from the snk kinkmeme. Spoilers for Chapter 50!]</p><p>Eren had always known about the power laced in each of his words, the very ones that allowed him to control the titans. But with the suffocating walls around him, all he could do was wait until he was finally able to join the Scouting Legion. To him it was the simplest way to aid humanity's victory before going after his true dream: to marvel in the grandness of the ocean with Mikasa and Armin.</p><p>However, the events of Shiganshina made one thing clear: the three of them had to tread carefully lest Eren himself be mistaken for the enemy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Im really bad at updating oops. For the most part this is the same thing from the Kinkmeme but I have edited it a little more.
> 
> full prompt:  
> "Basically, Eren has always known about his ability to control titans. Of course being within the confines of Wall Maria didn't exactly give him a lot of chance to exercise those abilities. Mostly he just played with Armin and Mikasa and fantasized about leaving the walls and being carried by titans around the world. 
> 
> The attack on Shiganshina dramatically changes that worldview. In addition, Hanne's reaction to the titan lifting the beam off Eren's mother, further convinces him of the necessity of keeping his powers secret.
> 
> Then Trost happens, and instead of Eren turning into a titan. Humanity watches in terror and confusion as the titans suddenly turn on each other and rip themselves to pieces. 
> 
> Except for four titan shifters who hear Eren's voice screaming in their heads, ordering them to kill every titan they can find."
> 
> http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/3666.html?thread=5110866

It was something he had always been aware of in the back of his mind, sort of how one remembers how to speak their language, and remembers who the people they are with are as a young child, even if they may not remember when they began to know these things. To Eren, his ability to control the titans was nothing more than a constant in his life that has always been there, and would likely continue to. It was normal for him; just another part of who he was, such as his eye colour or his dreams to the see the outside world.

Eren didn't consider himself naive, but that didn't mean didn't have times where he was. While he only spoke of his powers to few ears, it wasn't because of a sense of fear to be heralded as a monster. No, to him, this was normal, and not something most people should be afraid of... at least, not yet. Rather, Eren stayed quiet because he had little proof to offer any curious minds. Oh, he knew what he could do. He truly knew it. He had known it for as long as he could remember.

However the walls, the very ones that loomed over them, that protected them from the titans but, yet, at the same time caged them like birds with clipped wings... That was exactly why he had nothing to show the truth. Bringing a titan in wouldn't be a good idea – or so Armin said when Eren suggested it. To Eren, that just meant they had to wait a little longer, and then join the Scouting Legion. Then, he would not only be able to show what he could do, but help humanity as a bonus.

Still, that was years away, and those years felt even longer away when one was only a child. So, in between their daily chores, and dealing with drunk soldiers or bullies who barely understood what the word 'heathen' even meant, they played out in the fields. They had a number of games, of course. Normally, Eren and Armin would just read, but with Mikasa now part of their group, they had more chances to do some other things. Often made up their own worlds where their imaginations - exploring new places in their minds where monsters like titans and kidnappers did not lurk.

The weather in Wall Maria was temperate, but there were days that made their hearts flutter. Days where they clouds were soft and friendly looking, where the sun shone with a strength it ever so rarely showed, and when a warm breeze drifted through the long, lush grass. On those days, they would just lay down and relax. They'd talk about everything that came to mind, and then daydream some more, which in turn would produce new topics of interest.

They're favourite dream to discuss was to go see the ocean. Oh, all of them - even Mikasa had been entranced by the idea of the outside world - wanted to see what was beyond their suffocating walls, but the ocean was what intrigued them the most. There was something about it that was alluring, like the waters wished for them to come and be there until they drowned beneath the waves.

When Eren had revealed his abilities to them, the dream shifted a little.

“....Armin... Mikasa, there's something I want to tell you,” Eren said, on one of their daydreaming days. He propped himself up with his elbow, and turned towards his only friends. A small breeze flitted over them, bringing them to reality.

Armin was sitting up in attention first, wide eyes twinkling with a curiosity that never seemed to leave. Eren always liked to think Armin had very intelligent looking eyes, regardless of their age. “What is it?” Armin asked, focused on his friend.

Mikasa only moved to turn her head, but otherwise she stayed laying in the grass where she was still using her hands as a headrest. On her face was the familiar neutral look she always sported, but there was something... almost cute about it.

Eren sucked in a breath. He was a little nervous this would go badly, but they were his friends, and as bad as they were told titans were, it wasn't like he was a titan, or anything, right? Controlling them was different. He was a good person, and there should be no drawbacks to telling his secret, he decided then. Alas, this was one of the moments where his naivety reared it's ugly face.

“I can control titans,” Eren told them in what was quiet possibly the most serious voice the boy had ever used in his life. There was a moment of silence, with nothing much the rustling of the long sage grass around them to break it.

Armin spoke first. “Okay, but what really did you want to tell us?” he asked, frowning. He wasn't believing Eren just yet. It was clear as day on his face.

Eren's heart fell a little. His expression followed suit. “No, I mean it! I mean... I don't get to do it often ya know, but I just... know I can. ...I guess that is pretty weird, though.”

Armin's frowned deepened. His brow furrowed as he tried to figure out if Eren was just a really good liar or was starting to go crazy like his old neighbour had, at least according to the gossip around town. However, Eren seemed completely serious. Not only that, but his ears didn't go red much like they usually did when he fibbed.

Eren stared into his blue eyes. He could tell Armin wanted to believe that Eren was telling the truth. He doubted Armin liked questioning him, or his sanity. He slowly felt his initials melt away, replaced with understanding. Compared even with the amazing things they learned in books or the stories they heard from the scouting legion soldiers, the whole idea was pretty far fetched. But it was true.

“Please, believe me,” Eren continued, voice soft in his desperation.

“I believe you, Eren,” Mikasa murmured from her spot for the first time. Her voice was the same even tone as usual, without a single hint of condescension. She truly did believe him. So, at that moment, Armin decided he did too.

“That's kinda cool...” he said finally, biting as his lip. Eren nodded vigorously, bringing a smile to Armin's face.

“Yeah! And it makes getting around outside the walls even easier!” Eren grinned as he talked, excited now.

Armin's eyes lit up. “They could even carry us... Could you imagine that? Titans carrying us to see the ocean,” he murmured wistfully.

Mikasa smiled ever so slightly. “That'd be nice," she agreed. A strong wind passed through, its chill trying to warn them of things to come, but it fell on deaf ears. 

 


	2. Humanity's Reminder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep forgetting that the chapter notes is a thing...
> 
> Edited from the Kinkmeme version. I combined parts 2 and 3. Anyways I need to work on part 5, so Ill post part 4 on here at a later date!

They could have taken off on their own.

They could have, but their raw emotions did not allow them to even consider the idea. Some dreams have to be set aside for the sake of dealing with reality. Just because such a thing happens, though, doesn't mean the dreamer has forgotten. They rarely do. It just means, at least for the time being, there are things that make it too difficult to pursue.

The ocean no longer lingered in their minds, which had become clouded with fear. No... they hard a far larger need to pursue: survival.

The first thing in Eren's mind as the Colossal Titan destroyed Shiganshina's gate was one of the many swear words he learned from his father. The second, a cry of 'go away!' that slipped from his lips and entered the tense air around him. He didn't know if any of the titans would follow his orders. His mind was buzzing, making it almost painful to try and focus his thoughts.

His mother. Eren needed to get to his mother. They had gotten into a fight last... and his father was out of town... Was his mother okay? Eren left Armin and Mikasa's sides instantly, telling them just what he was going to do. He needed to make sure the most important woman in his life was still alive. Mikasa was soon at his heels. While she was relativity new to the family, she had grown attached to Carla Jaeger. Armin was left behind, but such a thing didn't even register in Eren's one track mind.

Eren ran through the streets, trying to ignore the damage and death around him. There were no titans yet, but he wasn't sure if his ability was strong enough to keep them all out. Still, he could only hope his home was untouched... or, maybe... maybe his mother had been out doing an errand. She would be okay. Eren knew she would.

When they reached his childhood home, Eren's breath caught in his throat. No... their home... his home... In a stroke of nothing but terrible, terrible fate, rubble from the broken gate had demolished most of the structure.

Eren finally let out a choked sob and ran right towards the ruins. Mikasa followed him, her face crossed with concern. Eren immediately looked around wildly for his mother. She was no where to be seen, and he felt a small amount of hope return to him. Maybe she had escaped.... but as he and Mikasa worked to remove what debris they could lift - as Mikasa wasn't as sure - they slowly uncovered Carla.

Eren fought back tears. He couldn't cry, not now. “Mom!” he called. He needed some confirmation that she was still alive. Anything to sooth his fraying nerves.

“Ere.. Eren... is that... you?” Carla rasped, struggling to speak. She sounded like she was in pain, and that just urged Eren to work harder at freeing her. His eyes drifted to the wood crushing down on her. The worst was a large oak pillar that had been one of the main supports for the roof. Even badly damaged and splintered, it looked unmovable.

Eren felt bile rise in his throat. He fought to keep his breathing under control - a battle he was fighting to win.

“Mikasa! Take this, we got to move this pillar out of the way!” he ordered suddenly, no longer able to stand the sight in front of him. He needed to do something and he needed to do it _now_. Eren took the pillar in his small hands - fitting of a child of his age but no good at lifting large amounts of wood. Mikasa did as she told without question, but even with her, the two of them could do nothing that made a difference.

Still, Eren persevered. He wasn't going to let his mother die! The cries of the titans reached their ears. All three of them froze up, but Eren was the first to react. “Go away, monsters! Just go away or eat each other or something!” While he couldn't tell very well from where he was, some followed his orders, much to the shock of the few Garrison soldiers who were already trying to deal with the invasion.

Humanity was far unprepared for this, and Eren couldn't even bring himself to care that he had been correct. The walls hadn't keep them safe forever. Knowing he had been right was no consolation prize for what he had been brought upon him.

“Mikasa! Hurry!” He could feel anxiety welling up in him, choking his heart with an iron grip.

“I know, Eren! I know!” she cried back, sounding the closest to tears he had heard her since they met.

“The... the titans are in town, aren't they?” Carla murmured, her voice sounding distant. She tried to force herself to look at Eren, struggling against the pain and wood. “Eren! Take Mikasa and run! Escape, please... please just live.”

“Run?” Eren said slowly. He was not the type to run but yet, he wanted to. His mind screamed at him to run, but his body stayed put – it's own way of reminding him of how important his mother was to him. “I will, but not without you!” he snapped, before telling Mikasa to hurry once more. His hands ached from the effort, and he could already feel splinters dig into his skin.

“I... My legs... I can't feel them... I think that they... they've been crushed in the rubble, Eren! Even if I could get out of here, I cannot run with you!” Carla's voice cracked, and she sounded more and more desperate with each of her words.

Eren didn't even pause to think. “Then we'll carry you!” he snapped.

Tears fell from Mrs. Jaeger's eyes. “Eren... Why don't you even listen to me? Why can't you follow my last request?”

Eren looked at her with stone cold eyes. “Because it won't be your last,” he told her, sounding far older than he was.

Eren was still struggling with the beam as he spoke. His facade gave away to tears without a moments notice. His heart felt like it was being suffocating with powerlessness. Mikasa was in a similar state. She began to lose the war to lift the pillar to her own sobs.

They heard it coming before they saw it. A titan – 14 metres at smallest – with an ugly, disturbing grin that they would all see in their nightmares for years to come. Even with his face framed in human-like, shaggy hair, there was a look about it that just make it seem like it didn't belong in their world.

Eren turned to it when it came too close to ignore, eyes wide. This was the closest he had even been to such a giant... His face turned cold from underneath the tears. He needed to focus. His ability had to work on at least this one thing, right? He was seconds from an order when he was cut off by the appearance of a Garrison soldier, one far to familiar for his liking. Hannes. He had come to help them, hadn't he? To play hero?

Eren barely registered what Hannes was saying in his panicked mind. Something about repaying his family? But it didn't matter, because Hannes stopped in his tracks, clearly afraid of the beast that lay before him. Eren swallowed thickly. He had to make his move before they all got eaten. He sucked in a breath. He could kill two grown men, and he could control these creatures, so why was one titan so scary for him? Hannes's fear he could understand but... Eren glanced down at his mother, vulnerable with her face streaked with tears, and found his answer.

“We... I need to get this pillar off of her!” Eren cried, but his words weren't pointed towards Mikasa nor Hannes. Their eyes flitted to him. Suddenly all the confidence he had in his ability shrank away like a scared little boy. Could he even command the titan?

The titan approached them, but it ignored Hannes. A good sign, Eren hoped. Hannes just stood there, frozen in terror. Only his eyes seemed to move, following the beast. It take him a good minute to spring back into action, likely realising that if he didn't do anything now the whole Jaeger family would be gone. Or, so he thought.

However, the smiling titan had no interest in the kids. It lifted up the rubble from over top of Carla, and for a moment it looked like she was what it was after, only for it to place the poor, horrified woman closer to her children.

“Go away,” Eren choked out, wishing he wasn't so afraid of it but... he was finding more faith in his words. It had worked. Would it work again?

Fortune was on his side. His second order was followed obediently, and the earth shook as the titan walked away. Eren knew it would likely find someone else to consume, but he was feeling too selfish to care about what happened to any other people. Fuck them. All that mattered to him was his family – and Armin, oh god was Armin still alright? - and they were not safe just yet.

Carla was taking in shaky breaths, clearly trying to keep herself from hyperventilating. Like she had said, her legs were a bloody and broken mess, and there was no way she'd be able to walk to safety. “Wh-what...?” she gasped, staring at her son.

Eren had told her and his father about his powers when he was younger. Like many kids, he had liked to share things with them about whatever came to his mind and tell them stories, but in that moment, it dawned on him that she likely hadn't believed him until now. Oh, she humoured him, but to her, his talk about controlling titans was no different than him talking about his imaginary friend or the games he played with Armin.

Eren frowned a little, but he didn't feel betrayed. It didn't matter now.

“What. The. Fuck,” Hannes said, speaking for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. Eren was working on lifting up his mother, Mikasa helping now. Their mother still seemed to be in shock, and Eren wish he knew how to help her with that, but his medical knowledge was limited compared to his father's.

“Wait, wait, wait, what the hell just happened?!” Hannes moved over to them now, taking steps with legs made of lead. “That titan just helped your mother and then left. Why the hell did it do that? I mean, look at all the other beasts! They're just killing people left and right! They don't give a fuck! I mean... Then why....” he trailed off, his fearful gaze landing on Eren.

“...You,” he breathed, his tone curt and accusatory, with some other emotion into his voice. Eren couldn't place just what. “You told it to leave and it did,” he continued, sounding far more intelligent than he usually did, in Eren's opinion. “And you mentioned something about needing to help your mother before that. It was you.” His voice was now merely hollow and terrified. Hannes was... he was afraid of Eren. For all the shit Eren gave the soldier, such a thought made his heart sink a bit, as he generally did like Hannes. After all, the man tried to save them, and he had never been that particularly unpleasant before hand.

Eren didn't know how to reply. He licked his far too dry lips, trying to decode his own thoughts. Hannes just stared at him, a million emotions going skating across his face. But they always led back to the same two basic ones: fear and anger. Eren wasn't sure which one made him feel worse.

He had never told Hannes, or anyone outside of his family and Armin. It had never felt right to him, though he had always planned for more to know. It had never become anything more than that. Armin had also expressed worry that Eren would be forced into the military, but as Eren's desire to join the Scouting Legion consumed him more and more, that idea hadn't sounded so bad.

That said, Eren still had considered how people would react before - both positive and negative - but nothing in his mind could have prepared him for the real thing. He had always had faith in that things would turn out right in the end, with his justification being that above all, he was a good person and not a monster.

Wasn't he?

“How?” Hannes asked, breaking the silence.

“I don't know,” was the only answer Eren could give him.

Hannes mumbled a word that sounded suspiciously like 'monster'. Eren's throat was a desert. He found himself unable to give a reply.

The man shook his head, and went to go help them with Carla. He lifted her up with more ease than they could, and with far more care. She was still quiet – not saying a word as Hannes carried her bridal style. “Come one, we should evacuate,” he said simply, still looking at Eren like there were very few differences between him and than the titans around them. Eren noted here was some sympathy in his gaze... as afraid as he appeared, Hannes showed no signs of any actual hate towards Eren, which was almost reassuring. Almost. Though, he could easily just be good at hiding it.

Hannes began to lead them some place safe. The fact that he hadn't used his blades to kill Eren then and there was a positive sign. Perhaps, Eren mused, Hannes was just as unable to kill a child as he was a titan, but for very different reasons. That said, Eren wasn't too sure what to think anymore. Much of what he had been sure of had been shattered like the city gate, and what he had been right about had brought terrible things. It made his stomach churn.

It was then that Eren realised that perhaps he really had been naive. If someone he knew who respected his family was afraid of him, and if his own mother was shocked by his abilities, then maybe it was best to keep them hidden. Because... because if someone who wasn't as soft as Hannes did find out, what would they do? Would they kill him, seeing him as nothing more than a monster who could control titans? Use him as a weapon? Eren didn't want to think about it. He wished Armin had come with him, as Armin always knew what to say. He was the smart one, not Eren.

Suddenly the idea of being forced into the military sounded a lot worse than he had thought.

Mikasa seemed to sense his inner turmoil – or at least, saw the saddened look that plastered itself onto his face – and took her little brother's hand in a reassuring manner.

By then, they had broken into a sprint. They made it through the city, taking winding paths as to avoid getting caught by the beasts around them. The second gate – the one that lead into Wall Maria – loomed up before them in no time. They managed to make it there before it closed, much to everyone's relief.

Hannes gave a little nod to one of the other soldiers, but clearly was still in a state of fear, from what Eren could tell. They made their way towards the boats in the canal, full of people wanting to get to safety as soon as possible. They were restless, grief written all over their faces. Eren found himself fitting in with far too much ease.

Eren spotted Armin in not time, and felt relief wash through him. He was safe. He was _alive._

Hannes entered onto the ship, the two ten year olds trailing behind him. Gingerly, he laid Carla down, right beside Armin's grandfather. She seemed more aware now, and pulled Eren and Mikasa close to her, wanting to keep them safe even she herself was still in so much pain.

Hanes made his leave then. He cast one last look at Eren – the same emotions before still there, never changing – and swallowed thickly. He seemed to contemplate something, and flashed Eren a look that surprised the boy. “Don't... don't make me regret this, Eren,” he whispered to him, and for a moment, he sounded legitimately threatening. With those final words, Hannes left to go join his fellow Garrison members.

Eren pressed his lips together worriedly. It didn't take him long to realise what Hannes meant. _Don't make me regret trying to save you. Don't make me regret letting you live. Don't prove to me that you are really a monster._

Eren glanced at Armin, who was curled up with his knees to his chest. He looked tired and scared – much like everyone else – but he was living still, and that made Eren feel better. Even with all that had happened, one of the people he cared most about in his life was still breathing. Eren wasn't sure if he'd ever forgive himself if he had let Armin die because of his own rashness.

Now... they'd just need to get some place safe. Their hometown would be lost possibly forever to the titans, but it was a cost to pay to continue on. They had the rest of Wall Maria still, didn't they?

Then, the unthinkable happened. And with that, all hopeful feelings withered into nothing when the Armoured Titan broke through the second gate. It happened so fast Eren could barely react. It felt like the world had come crashing down... it was almost as bad as when the Colossal Titan had appeared. Or, maybe, it was worse. He wasn't sure. His mind span too much for him to think straight, and he was too consumed by a crushing feeling of hopelessness.

Losing Shiganshina was bad enough but this... this meant that they would likely lose all of Wall Maria. No... they would lose it all. Eren felt even more nauseous as anger bubbled up in him, and spilled over in the form of tears. It wasn't fair. Why did he get such abilities, yet, be unable to change anything with them? Sure, he had saved his mother, but how many countless more would have been saved if he somehow could have stopped this?

It wasn't his fault. Eren knew this. No, it was all the titans fault. “...I.. I'll kill every last one of them.” he said then, gripping his mother's dress a bit too tightly. She gave him a concerned look, and even Mikasa and Armin glanced over at him. “Every last titan!” It didn't matter if he had to control them or kill them with his own hands, he was going to do it. His dreams of being carried around the world by giants along with his friends were long washed away, replaced with thoughts of bloodshed and pure, unadulterated rage.

No, these things.... these titans where nothing more than disgusting creatures. He would kill them all, just like he put down the animals who had kidnapped Mikasa. Only then would he finally return to his... no, their dream to see the ocean.

But for now, they needed to survive another day.

* * *

They arrived in Trost sometime later. To say things went well would be an understatement, but they were alive. They would continue to fight.

Eren felt anxious about Hannes. Not only did he want the man to still be alive, but he also hoped that Hannes had told no one about what Eren could do. Hannes have never been a gossip, after all, so perhaps he'd be safe.

Life in Trost was tiring. It was clear that the refugees were not liked at all, but they made it by on limited food. They managed to get some treatment for their mother's legs, which had been cobbled together by people who liked the Jaeger family, a willing Trost doctor, and what limited medical skills Eren and Mikasa had. Regardless, it seemed that Carla would not be walking anytime soon, if ever again. Such a thought seemed foreign to Eren, but yet, it was his current reality. He found himself being forced to accept that now.

Basking in the summer sun in the fields outside of Shiganshina felt worlds away.

 


	3. Time Carries On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little breather.
> 
> I posted part 5 (which'll be chapter 4 of this) on the kinkmeme a few days ago buuuuuut it may take me a bit to get it on here because I really hated how it came out compared to the other chapters.
> 
> This one I changed the least I think, but that's because it got edited so much before I posted it on the kinkmeme ahah.

Gossip he may not be, Hannes knew this was too important to keep to himself. He didn't quite understand it all – it was difficult to process on top of everything that had happened. Still, he had laid out a few things that he knew for sure in this mind: Dr. Jaeger's son, Eren, had an ability that was not common knowledge. Said ability allowed him some amount of control over the titans. He did not seem to understand it all himself. Eren used it to save his mother and them, but no one else.

That was it. There were still gaps, though, and Hannes knew it. How powerful was Eren? Did he know about the attack before hand? Where did such a power come from? Was Eren a monster, just like the beasts he could control, or a normal child with unfortunate luck?

So many questions swirled in his head, and while he had theories, none of them could be proven as true just yet. He had little to go on.

Luckily, Hannes was able to distract himself from the thoughts before he got a headache. With everything that had happened, the Garrison- no, more like the whole military - was excessively busy. There were people to feed, evacuations to be done, and titans to kill, assuming one was not killed first. It was tiring and left little time for anything else except for eating and uneasy rest.

Within a number of weeks, things slowed down. Wall Maria had been completely overrun by titans. Those who could have been saved had been, but now it was just an unneeded risk of life for anyone of any military fraction to leave just yet. For the time being, the officials were working on what to do about the inevitable food shortage.

Hannes wasn't too worried about that on a personal level. The military was usually considered priority, though less of a one than the rich, and he knew he'd likely still get some food even if his rations were drastically cut. Still, he worried about the few survivors from his home, especially dear Carla and her children...

His mind snapped back to Eren. Would things be better off if he didn't make it through the winter? Hannes felt sick for a moment. No, he wasn't terrible enough to wish death - _especially_ starvation – on a child. Because, at the end of everything, Eren was a child, and Hannes could not make himself doubt that, even if he wasn't sure how human Eren was. Every time the boy came to his mind that one thing was always there; that he was nothing more than a child, the same child who would try to act like he was older than he was but then get embarrassed over something as small as crying.

The thoughts continued to swirl. Hannes headed to a group of his fellow soldiers, hoping for yet another distraction. “Hey, Hannes,” one of them greeted, sounding as tired and beaten as he looked. Grey hairs were starting to mix in with his red locks. “You look awfully troubled.” And who didn't, after all that had happened?

“Something eating you?” the man, Sven, continued.

A few of the soldiers glanced up, though for now they didn't seem particularly interested in the conversation. Hannes weighed his options. “Yeah, just something that happened back home,” he replied, voice gruff.

Sven looked grim. He knew full well that Hannes from Shiganshina. “Ah, of course. I'm sorry.”

Hannes shook his head, before taking a seat beside Sven.. “No... it's not about the attack. I mean, it sort of is but... You see, I went to go help this family, right? Since the father was the doctor – Grisha Jaeger – helped save a lot of lives in the past.” Sven wasn't from Shingashima, but still lived around the area, so Hannes hoped he knew who he was talking about. He continued, “Anyways, the wife had been badly hurt and the two kids were trying to save her with this titan showed up. A big one. I'm talking 14 metres here. And then the craziest thing happened.”

The others were now engrossed in the story, curious for some kind of excitement that didn't involve the chance of their untimely death. Hannes wet his lips. Would they believe him? He hoped. It felt crucial for someone else to know. Hannes wasn't used to keeping things bottled up. “The titan rescued the woman and then just up and left. You see, and I swear that this is the truth, one of the kids – her boy - just told it to help and then for it to leave, and it listened!”

There was a moment of silence, and then, laughter filled the air. Hannes blinked. The sound was alien after so many cynical moods that seemed to infect soldiers. Very few people had felt up to something like _laughing_ after Wall Maria met its end, and if they did... there was always the question of the state of their mental health. For a split second, Hannes was worried, but then he realised this was genuine laughter.

One woman managed to suppress herself long enough to speak. “No, seriously, Hannes. What happened? Was it just acting weird or did you scare it off with your facial hair?”

More laughter. The warmth of embarrassment spread onto his cheeks. “No! I'm telling the truth, it's exactly what happened! The kid even admitted to it. I mean... I dunno the full story, but someone else has gotta know. He could be dangerous or... or, even really useful for fighting them!”

Sven – who had been laughing too, the traitor – put a gentle hand on Hannes's shoulder. “Hannes... Listen, you may remember that but... that doesn't mean it really happened. I think the shock or the stress of everything that has occurred is getting to you. You ought to rest; take some time off, even. Humans cannot control those beasts, and especially not little boys.”

Hannes gave him a look as he brushed off Sven's hand. “I am _fine_. I don't need to rest. I know it happened.”

Sven didn't seem to be taking no for an answer. “Hannes, please. Don't make this harder than it needs to be,” he murmured, giving a little sigh.

With a huff, Hannes stood up, as the chuckles finally died down. He turned to leave, no longer in the mood for the company of others.

Alright, so that hadn't gone well... no surprises there, as even Hannes wasn't too sure about how real it had been. A feeling in his gut told him it had happened, however, and he was choosing to believe it. For now, he'd keep quiet. No need for people thinking he had gone insane. That would have a disastrous effect on his life and his military career. He knew the information was going to be important – some day, some how, and then, maybe then, they'd believe him.

As he mulled things over some more, Hannes had to admit he was also a little happy that they didn't think what he had said was the truth. Eren had never been a bad person. Rambunctious, self righteous, and very reactive, maybe, but he almost always had his heart in the right place. Was it an act? Possibly. But if it wasn't... he'd hate to see something bad happen while he was recovering from such a traumatic event.

If Hannes had to be honest with himself, he wasn't entirely sure what he thought about Eren anymore. Part of him feared the boy - felt like he should hate Eren – for what he was, what he could be... but another part could do nothing but continuously see the Doctor's son, a boy full of so much hope and passion, hidden under his anger and rashness. Someone who, in the end of the day, was no one to be truly hated, at least not in Hannes eyes.

Things really had gotten more and more complicated, hadn't they?

* * *

Originally, while they were in Trost, Armin had stayed with his own family. Sure, most of the refugees stayed in the same place anyways, but Armin rarely left the sides of his parents or grandfather. Likely it was to keep Armin safe, as children going missing was not unheard of. While very few people talked about it, most had an idea of what likely could have happened – and none of it was pleasant. As old as he was, even Grandfather Arlert was enough to keep people away from the boy when Mikasa and Eren weren't there to help. Having an adult around kept them from having to deal with a lot less creepier adults

Things didn't stay like that forever. In the government's attempt to ease on the food shortage - which was what it was, they all knew it, and talk about it being to retake Wall Maria never made it any different - Armin's whole family and like many others, never returned. Gone now were the days of bliss between them. The moment they stepped outside of Trost, Armin felt tears prickle in eyes. No matter what the military said, he knew deep down in his aching heart that it was the last time he'd ever see his mother, father, and grandfather ever again. There was no chance of _any_ of the people returning

He knew, too, that government had planned for that.

Mikasa and Eren had been there to comfort him, but no amount of that could keep the sobs from rearing their ugly heads. His hands dug into his grandfather's hat, scared that even it would be forced to leave him.

From then on Armin had become an unofficial member of the Jaeger family.

* * *

Carla hadn't been sent off due to her injuries, and for that, they were all glad. Eren didn't want to lose his mother, especially not after coming so close to such. Carla had been healing, but yet, she still looked so sickly. Old too, Eren noted. His mother looked ten years older from the stress of the attack, and from worrying about if her children were getting enough food (they never were, but still, she worried). Adding to that, no one had heard from her husband since the day the wall fell.

“Mom, you should eat,” Eren said softly, not liking all the grey hairs that had been appearing as of late. A cold and bitter wind passed through the shabby building they had been staying in. Winter would be coming soon, and with it, more problems. That likely played a role in the timing of the mission.

Mission... just the thought of it made Eren upset. Armin had barely talked for days after his family left to fight, and just about everyone else shared his depression. It was just salt on their slowly healing wounds – only it did nothing to clean them.

“I'm not hungry, Eren, maybe you should eat my share instead,” she replied, which only made Eren frown more.

“You always do this.... please eat.” Eren didn't like begging, but it hurt him to see her like this. Mikasa gave him a look from where she sat, as Eren hadn't been much better at first, but she also didn't like seeing her adoptive mother starve to give them more.

Carla sighed in resignation, unable to say no to their sad faces, and ate what little she had. “Things'll get better soon,” she told him, running a frail looking hand through his hair.

Eren gave a confident nod. “Yeah, when we join the Scouting legion and stuff we'll be able to get you some more food and money,” he promised. Carla sighed once more, clearly not happy with that solution.

“Eren...”

“I'm going to join. There's nothing you can do to stop me.” He didn't mean to sound harsh, but he was speaking the truth. 

Carla scrutinized his face for a moment like she was looking for something. “I know, dear. But just remember, Mikasa and Armin will likely be there to follow,” she informed him, voice dropping down low as she spoke. Eren blinked, considering her words. He hadn't thought of it that way, but he couldn't think of a single argument against it. He knew just as well as she did that she was right. “Keep them safe,” she requested.

“I will,” he promised, unaware she had said something similar to the other two. Oh, Carla wanted them all to be safe, especially Eren, as he was the most likely to get hurt. Still, the boy was full of so much passion that it was best that she also made sure he considered the safety of others, even if he didn't consider his own.

“That's good,” she remarked, smiling as she pulled him into a hug. “I love you, remember that.” 

Eren hugged her back, holding her tightly; he was afraid she'd disappear. “I love you too,” he murmured.

* * *

“What are you going to do about your powers?” Armin asked as he adjusted his dress shirt. The air was brisk this time of the year, but the sun spoke of warmth to come. It was an improvement on the terrible winters. They had spent two long years in Trost, living in the poorest part of the city. They had travelled to other places, mainly to get money from doing farm labour, but Trost was the best they could do as refugees. Plus, it was close to the training grounds. Now that they were finally of age, they had quickly gotten to work on enlisting.

“Keep them a secret, probably,” Eren replied, fighting with the tangles in his hair. “I wish I had more of a chance to practice them but...” he sighed a little, giving a dismissive shrug. “What can ya do?”

Armin nodded, looking himself over. They had been issued the uniforms today, and really, they felt so clean and new compared to the clothes they had gotten used to wearing. It was refreshing.

Mikasa came in, finished changing as well. Before they had been comfortable enough to dress together, but... with puberty coming around, it got a little more awkward.“Mom wants to see us before we leave,” she said, going over to help Eren with brushing his hair.

Armin giggled a little at them, ignoring the dirty look Eren flashed him. It was nice to have some kind of joy, at the very least.

Once ready, the trio went to go check in on Carla, who had been reading silently. Her legs were much better but even with time to heal, walking was impossible for her. She couldn't even feel her legs. Something about the nerves being damaged they had been told. She was stuck in her bed almost all day, and there was little they could do. It hurt, making Eren's chest ache, but he was no miracle worker.

“You three look dashing,” she remarked as waved Eren over to help fix up his jacket. Eren's face flushed a little. After she was done, he grabbed a rickety chair for his mother to sit in, helping her into it like they had done numerous times before. It was not easy, but it helped build up what little muscle he could with his diet.

Carla kissed him on the cheek, smiling sadly. “My little boy has grown so much...” she murmured, placing a hand on his face, stroking his tanned cheek lovingly.

Eren gave a surprisingly gentle smile. She turned to Mikasa, giving the girl a hug and a loving kiss, and even gave a hug – and much to the boy's delight, a kiss on the forehead - to Armin as well. “Now... I suppose you three should be off then,” she said, fighting back tears. “Promise you'll visit?”

“We _will_ , mom,” he said in a teasing manner. “Stay safe. Please.” Women and children were common targets for the wolves in sheep's clothing that roamed Trost. While the three of them had grown, his mother was still at risk.

His mother gave a small nod return. “Of course I will,” she replied. “I spoke with Hannes the other day. He's stationed here now, so I think he'll keep me company.”

Eren swallowed thickly, before grabbing what little possessions he had. No matter what his mother said, he was nervous. Part of him also dreaded seeing Hannes again, but like he often did, he merely just pushed his anxieties to the back of his mind to pretend they didn't exist.

Mikasa and Armin headed towards the door, but Eren found himself unable to move for a long moment. “I love you, so much,” he said to Carla, and he meant every word. He gave her one last hug before finally prying himself away.

“I love you too,” she murmured, waving as the three of them finally left to catch their waggon ride out to the training grounds.

There was silence. Even the birds seemed to grow tired with singing. “When did he get so tall...” Carla mumbled to no one in particular.

* * *

Keith Shadis was definitely not someone you wanted to get on the wrong side with, Eren decided. Fortunately for a few people such as Eren he ignored them, but others weren't so lucky. Alas, Armin was one of those people. Eren felt bad for him. While they had all been through hell and back, it apparently didn't show in Armin's eyes as much as it did for the rest of them.

After their fun little introductions that ended short with the girl named Sasha – dubbed Potato girl by many – they were able to switch into civilian clothes and eat.

Needless to say, while it was military rations, the food was some of the best Eren, Armin, and Mikasa had in a very long time.

* * *

“Come on, tell us about the titans!” Connie demanded, placing his hands on the wooden table with a loud smack. Eren glanced up at him, blinking. “You said you were from Shiganshina. Did you see the colossal titan? Was it as big as they say?”

“I heard it was big enough to step over the walls!” one person called. A chorus of voices, each with a rumour more absurd than the last rang out through the mess hall.

“... It wasn't that big. You could see it's head over the walls, but that was it,” Eren answered slowly. Armin moved a bit closer for him, perhaps for some sort of comfort. The attack on their home had shaken them even if they hadn't see any one close to them consumed. But... that didn't make it any less horrifying to experience.

“What about the armoured titan?” Connie asked, drinking in each and every one of Eren's words. “What was that like? I heard-”

Eren cut him off, before more rumours started up again.“It wasn't too special. It looked like a normal boring old titan to me,” Eren began, unaware of the dirty look directed at him that flashed across Reiner's face for half a second. “I mean, yeah, it had armour and stuff, but other than that, it was just a titan.”

Connie nodded, taking a seat finally. “What about normal titans?” Thomas asked, curious himself. Eren was silent for a moment, staring at his caramel coloured hand.

Thomas prodded him again, but Marco spoke up. “Maybe he has things he doesn't want to remember, Tom... We shouldn't bother him.”  
  
Eren shook his head. “No. Titan's aren't that bad, at least for me. I mean, they looked fucked up but they're just really stupid creatures. Only thing going for them is size,” he hissed, malice laced into his words. “But they're pretty disgusting. That's why I'm going to join the scouting legion and kill every last one of them!”

Stunned silence. Then, he heard laughter. Eren whipped his head towards a boy tawny hair, who Eren distinctly remembered was headbutted by Shadis during their introduction. “Really? Is that what you're going to do? Please. A smart person would try for the top ten so they can get into the military police and live peacefully in the centre wall,” the boy – Jean – paused for a moment. “Like me.” He shook his head. “Listen, kid, you're suicidal, if you ask me.”

It was then Eren decided he hated Jean almost as much as he hated titans. If anything, it was a pretty amazing feat. He stood up, going over to him. “Are you proud of that?” he asked coldly, crossing his arms.

Jean frowned, one eyebrow raising. “Of not being a suicidal bastard? Yes.”

Eren glared daggers at Jean. “No, you're a _coward._ What if Wall Rose falls? Next would be Sina, and you with it, all because you were too cowardly to try and change things,” he hissed, getting right up in Jean's face. Jean gritted his teeth, grabbing Eren's shirt roughly.

“It's reality,” Jean said. “Not the delusion you're living in where we can _actually_ kill all the Titans in one lifetime.”

This did nothing to deter Eren. “If  you think reality is just living comfortably and following your own whims, c _an you seriously dare to call yourself a soldier?” He gave a small laugh. “It's not very hard for a person to accomplish more than that if they fight.”_

“And what are you going to do? Just kindly ask the titans to die for you? Please. There's millions of them and barely any of us. I'd rather live my life to the fullest than die for nothing!” Jean spat. Eren almost felt like laughing. Oh, if only he knew... if only...

“But then nothing is changed! There's just more death until there's none of us left once they breach the other walls.” Jean gave a snort, but Eren kept on talking. “You'd be surprised what people can do. About what they have hidden up their sleeves.”

Jean let out barking laughter, which was even more condescending than before. “The whole 'nothing changes'? Not much different from your idea, if you ask me.” Eren lifted his first up to punch Jean's stupid horse face, but he was stopped by a warm pair of hands. _Mikasa._ Eren felt himself relax. While she could get him upset as well, there was something... calming about her presence for him. Eren backed off, and Jean almost instantly let go of him.

He turned to Eren begrudgingly, though, and sighed. A small tinge of regret seemed to enter his expression. “I suppose it's not too late to be friends?” he asked, extending his hand. Eren took it cautiously.

“...I guess not,” he murmured, not sure if he liked this, but... he was calmer now. He could think clearer. As annoying as Jean was, he was not the enemy. Eren knew that.

Jean turned his attention to Mikasa, finally getting a good look at her. He soon began staring at Eren's adoptive sister like he had never seen a girl like her before – which was likely the case.

A blush formed on Jean's cheeks after a few seconds. “I... you... aren't like the other people here.” Real smooth. Eren almost felt like punching him again. “...I mean... your hair is... very beautiful.” He looked away then, face still red.

Mikasa blinked with her ever neutral expression.. “Thank you,” she said evenly, before grabbing Eren's hand. “Let's go.” Eren tried not to smile at the look envious Jean gave him. Oh, right... he probably didn't realise they're actual relationship – which was some cross between siblings and friends - with each other, especially with how different they looked. But... he didn't feel like correcting him just yet. It felt too good.

As they headed outside to go find the barracks, Eren glanced over at Mikasa, flipping up her admittedly very pretty hair. “It's getting a little long...” he murmured, “maybe you should cut it so it doesn't get into any accidents with the gear and such.” Plus it felt... almost natural for Mikasa to have short hair, but Eren couldn't place why.

Mikasa was silent for a moment. “Alright. I'll cut it tonight,” she said, loud enough for any one on the mess hall's porch to hear them... which is exactly what happened with Jean. He had gone out to go after Mikasa, wanting to at least get her name. His face turned stone cold. He turned to Connie, who had come outside for some fresh air. He lifted up the hand that Eren had shaken and wiped it against Connie's shirt.

“Hey man, what did you wipe on me?!” he demanded, trying to reach behind him to figure it out.

Jean's answer was hollow and melodramatic in tone. “My faith in humanity.”

* * *

Armin read silently by the candle light. The girl's barrack's were quiet now, as most people were likely still eating and socializing. The only sound was the snipping of scissors as Eren slowly cut Mikasa's hair to a more manageable length. Finding scissors had been harder than they thought, but luckily they found a pair to steal in a supply closet in another building. They'd return it before anyone noticed it was gone – or so Eren had promised when Armin voiced concern.

“It's uneven, Eren,” Armin giggled cutely, and put down his book to go help his friend. Eren grumbled, but with Armin's help, managed to get it to look decent. “There.”

Mikasa ran a hand through her locks, watching the two boys clean up without a word. It felt odd to get rid of her hair after keeping it long for years. But it was fitting, she thought. This would be there new life from now on; so different from anything she had lived before. “I like it,” she said softly.

Armin nodded in agreement, and Eren gave a small, sincere smile. “It suits you,” Eren murmured, touching it as well, before bidding her a good night.

* * *

The rest of training went smoothly, and Eren's powers proved to be no problem, even if they were no aid either. He managed to stay quiet about it, and if he did slip up, no one else noticed. He made sure to write letters to his mother, and continued to try harder and harder in training. With time he had even started to get some actual muscle tone. Of course, neither Eren nor Armin could top the kind of muscles Mikasa got.

“I'm almost jealous of her,” Eren bemoaned one night after they had all decided to go swimming in the nearby lake. “Did you see her abs?”

Armin chuckled a little. “Almost jealous?” he teased, prodding Eren with a finger. Luckily for Armin, he foresaw Eren trying to hit him for that comment and ducked out of the way.

Armin shook his head a little. “I guess it's kind of like... she's the brawn, I'm kinda smart, and you have the,” he paused, lowering his voice, “... the cool powers.”  
  
Eren pouted slightly. “But Mikasa's pretty smart too. And you're really smart, not just kind of.” Armin blushed, but clearly was having a hard time buying into Eren's words. Eren just shrugged, clearly not that bothered. “It's fine though, I'm a hard worker.”

Armin blinked, but gave a little laugh. “I suppose you are. Or just stubborn,” he joked. Eren rolled his eyes, but soon they heard Shadis called for curfew. They gave each other a small goodnight, before deciding that sleep was preferable to Shadis's wrath.

 


	4. History Repeats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My birthday was on the 9th and between school and doing stuff for it on the weekend, I've been pretty busy! I managed to muster up the time to edit this at least.
> 
> I am torn between hating this chapter and liking parts of it.

The day after graduation had come.

The moment had come faster than any of them would have thought. It had been tough work, but they had made it, and that's what truly mattered to Eren. Training had been admittedly enjoyable, but tiring, and Eren knew it would have been likely no different without his powers. He had made some good friends – Reiner, Marco, Connie, Sasha, Thomas, Krista.... Even Annie, he knew, had a soft side to her, even if he had only seen it once or twice.

Getting fifth place felt good. Not the best, but it was pretty damn impressive for someone who had started with a nice head injury from the first time trying balance himself in preparation for the 3D maneuver gear. Plus, he had gotten a higher score than Jean, and that always left a sweet taste in Eren's mouth.

The wind swept around him, bringing in an air that felt fresh for once. Yes. Today was the day he'd make his choice and set upon his path to righteousness. Today was the day he'd prove that he was no monster but merely a boy - a man - who wanted to help humanity.

Things were really looking up, even if his friends did think he was a little suicidal. But that was the thing, he had _friends_. Friends who weren't Mikasa and Armin - oh, he loved those two to the end of the earth, but that didn't make being able to actually connect with other people any less enjoyable. It was a nice change from his general lack of company growing up. It wasn't that he really cared, though, most of the kids from his childhood had been wild dogs in his eyes. Good riddance.

Still, nothing truly did beat Armin and Mikasa. Truth be told, part of him was glad they had decided to follow him into the Scouting Legion. Anger had welled up in his chest, sure, but at the same time he felt an odd moment of relief. He'd have people to back him up, and he'd be able to keep an eye on them.

In all reality, he'd hate to see them get hurt or even... even _die_. He didn't even want to think about that. How did that phrase go again? _'At the shrine of friendship, never say die'?_ Eren decided that was the best thing to listen to. He'd cope with it when it came, like he often did.

Eren looked over the side of the wall, to the expanses of greenery that seemed to go on forever. Wall Maria. Abandoned for five years, and rarely touched by humans. In its blood stained fields there once had been bountiful harvest, enough to keep most people in the walls content and quiet. Now it was nothing more than a battlefield; a reminder of what they had all lost. His hometown was a mere footnote in the history books, and seeing the homes overtaken by vines made it sting more.

Eren balled his hands into fists, face focused and full of malice. He'd kill them all - every last one.

Eren was pulled into reality by the sounds of voices. The other trainees, of course. He had forgotten he had not been alone while the patrolled the walls around Trost. Eren gave a little smile at the Sasha's antics. Yes, things really were going well, weren't they?

There was light first; blinding and sudden. A bolt of lightening in an other wise clear day. Sweat formed on his face. His breath caught in his throat as a loud bang threatened to burst his eardrums.

_No._

It couldn't be happening again.

But... this time he was ready, wasn't he?

Eren let out a shaky breath, adrenaline starting to course through him. He fell through the air, before pulling himself back towards the wall with a flick of his trigger. He steadied himself, avoiding the broiling steam as best he could with his gear as attempted to make contact with the wall. A quick survey of the other soldiers told him everyone else seemed fine, minus a small injury Samuel had – it was better than being dead, at least. If anything, they were just in a state of shock.

Eren's feet hit solid stone, sending a painful jolt through his body. “Hey, long time no see...” he cooed to the Colossal Titan, it's massive face taking up of his field of vision. “It's been five years, hasn't it?” He had no idea if the monster could truly understand him when he wasn't giving orders, but Eren didn't care.“Why don't you just scamper off now, and leave us alone, eh?” Eren ordered. It was worth a try. This was the first time he had gotten a chance to use his ability in five years. It had to still work, right? For all it's massive size, the titan was just that – a titan. Brainless and bloodthirsty.

The creature seemed to hesitate. _Yes_. it was just a normal titan. A massive arm moved, sweeping across the wall to kill him. Eren reacted as fast as he could, using his gear to swing himself away from the destruction. His heart pounded in his chest, threatening to burst.

That had been close. Mikasa would have been unable to ever forgive him if he had gotten himself killed. He felt a smirk play on his lips. Even the Colossal Titan wasn't enough to stop him! The military training was really shaping up to be worth it.

Wait. His eyes drifted down as he tried to get a hold of something – anything - to stop his descent. No. It hadn't been after him. Eren could see it clearly now - it's target had been mounted canons, which laid in ruin. The gate was in a similar state, Eren noted with a grim face. His mind raced to find an answer. The Colossal Titan had known what to attack, and had deduced him as no threat. Which likely mean it had some form of intelligence, once greater than the normal titans. Did that mean...? There was so much they didn't know about titans but Eren hoped it's apparently ability to think much like a human could was the only reason his voice had no effect.

Oh well. Eren hadn't gone through three years of hell just to rely on just his own supernatural powers.

He drew his swords, going in for the nape. Eren's gear dug into the flesh of the beast. Just two simultaneous cuts... that's all it would take to end the life of the titan that had shaken his own life and destroyed the dreams of so many others. Eren moved in for the final kill. His breath was stuck in his throat, unwilling to leave until the Colossal Titan was put down once and for all. Time seemed to slow down. He was mere metres from finally hearing the rewarding sound of steal meeting flesh.

Eren sliced, but his weapons met nothing but steam. _What?_

Eren felt himself freeze up in shock. How? He knew that the people of the walls knew very little about titans but... it seemed impossible that a titan could disappear into thin air. His lips twisted into a scowl. Something was up. There were intelligent, disappearing titans and then there was his ability to control them... They all had to have some meaning, right?

Eren resolved to talk to Armin and Mikasa as soon as he could. They were better at putting two and two together than he was. Plus, he had to get moving. He needed to make sure he could save as many lives as possible lest he let all of his efforts be for naught. Trost's gate had fallen to the titans, but he sure as hell wasn't letting them take the whole of Wall Rose.

Eren was vaguely aware of the fact that he was falling to his death. Swiftly, his attached himself to the wreck of a wall. Right. Better to stay focused and alive instead of a pile of gore fifty metres blow.

Connie came over at a breakneck pace, panting heavily. “We have to regroup with the others inside of Wall Rose to prepare for the counter attack!” he informed him, before turning on his heel.

Eren grumbled, staring out at the titans that were beginning to congregate. “You heard that!” he called down, yelling at the top of his lungs. “You bastards better just fuck off before I can deal with you!” At the very least, he thought, it would keep some away. Stall them just a little before he could deal with them permanently. He gave one last glance as the titans began to turn away, planning on going after Connie. Eren was completely unaware of the worried look the boy had given him, or that Connie had even heard him.

* * *

Eren was clearly restless as they were given his orders. He didn't give a fuck about what they were supposed to do. He had plans of his own, and they were far more effective... but he couldn't tell anyone about them. Not yet. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to tell Armin or Mikasa in fear of their reaction. Mikasa especially hated it when Eren did anything the least bit risky.

Preparations began right away. Gas, swords, and flares were handed out, while everyone did one last check over of their gear to keep them from twiddling their thumbs in anxiety.

Jean was currently loudly complaining about how unfair it all was. “I could be inside the inner wall right now!” he raved to anyone who would listen. Eren was tempted to push him up against a column and give him a piece of his mind. In fact, he set off to before feeling strong hands grab his arm.

“Don't even think about it,” Mikasa odered. He turned around to face her, resisting the urge to pout.

“That bastard's grating my nerves. He's making such a big deal about not being able to run away with his tail between his legs when there could be people dying right now! Ones he could have saved if he wasn't being such a sack of shit!” Eren ranted, more than ready to get going once he started. He gritted his teeth. What he'd give to see Jean's reaction to his own ability. Ha. Jean'd probably piss himself.

“Eren,” Mikasa said sternly, interrupting Eren's thoughts. “It's not worth it. Plus... I think he is only ranting about such a trivial thing because he doesn't want to face the harsh reality just yet. Trost is his hometown, you know?”

Eren considered this. Mikasa was right, and he had never taken that into consideration before. It would explain a lot. He swallowed, but didn't say anything. He was far to prideful to admit he felt any kind of sympathy or understanding towards someone like Jean. Regardless, they had better things to discuss.

Mikasa sighed softly. “I'm worried about mom.”

Eren's heart plummeted and all thoughts out intelligent titans left his mind. He had forgotten all about her in his hatred against the titans (and Jean). “Shit. Will she even be able to evacuate with her legs?”

“I'm sure a soldier can help her. Even if it has to be us,” Armin said as he came over from the gas refills. He looked pale, like he was ill, which was worrying.

Eren tried to force himself to stay calm. Right. Best not to think of the worst case scenario just yet “Alright. I just... I don't want her to die.”

“We know, Eren,” Mikasa replied in a soothing voice. “We don't either.” Armin gave a curt nod in confirmation.

“She'll live,” Eren said to himself, as if to convince himself it. She'd live. It was a mantra he'd continue on in his head.

“She will,” Mikasa agreed. “What are you going to do?” Her voice went hush. None of them needed any more clarification than that.

Eren hesitated, but he knew he couldn't lie to such dear friends. “I'm going to tell the titans to kill themselves. To rip each other apart,” he hissed, voice laced with venom. Eren felt his blood starting pump again, fulled purely by anger.

“Why not send them away?” Armin asked, but Eren could tell by the look in his eyes Armin already had an idea as to why. In all reality, he was likely just looking to see if he had been right. Armin often was, but rarely did he take pride in his words nor put much confidence in them. Eren knew he second guessed himself a lot, while Eren bluntly spoke his mind.

Eren shook his head. “That's pointless,” he sneered. “They're still alive then, still a danger. Plus, I don't know how long my orders last for. They could always come back. It's best to work on the root of the problem: their very existence.”

Mikasa moved closer to Eren. He was half certain she was going to reprimand him for his plans, but instead she just looked _sad._ “Promise me you won't die.”

Eren sighed, feeling a little deflated at her words. “I can't promise you that, Mikasa.”

“Eren!” Two voices rang in his ears. He felt bad, but it had been the truth.

“That said,” Eren continued, “I will try my best to not die. Alright?” He glanced away from them, fighting back unwanted emotions. “You aren't my parents, you guys.”

“I know I'm not,” Mikasa retorted, “but that doesn't mean I can't care for you.”

“Yes, she's right, Eren. You don't want us to die either, do you?”

Eren looked them straight in the eye once more. “Of course not! I'll kill you guys if you die!”

Armin gave a small bout of bitter laughter. “Alright. I'll keep that in mind, Eren. But we should get going if we're to help anyone.” Eren turned to go, but quickly noticed that Mikasa did not budge from her spot.

“Mikasa?” he called back, frowning at her. “Are you coming? We need to get in our squads, like Armin said.”

She shook her head. A small amount of regret flitted across the girl's face. “Because of my abilities, I was asked to stay in the rearguard as opposed to being with the other trainees. I am to mostly work on getting people out the gate.” Mikasa paused, standing up straighter now. “I tried to get them to move me onto one of your squads but they didn't allow it! I could try agai-”

Eren cut her off. “Mikasa, it's fine. You'll do well in the rearguard, I'm sure, if they needed you so bad.” Something felt off. It left a bad taste in his mouth. Why put the strongest of the new recruits in the very back? He could tell neither of them liked the idea either, but now was not time to fight it. Every moment they wasted was another life lost and they had already wasted far too much time.

“...alright.”

Eren started to leave again, but stopped in his tracks. He sucked in a small breath, before glancing back at his sister. “And one more thing, Mikasa! Save everyone can, for us, alright? We'll deal with the titans and then by evening Wall Rose will still be ours, I promise you that!”

Mikasa smiled a little, tugging on her scarf. “I will do what I can. Everything I can. And I promise you I _won't_ die. Not here.” Eren knew she meant every word.

 


	5. Soldiers of the Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh boy. I've been busy, what can I say? I haven't even updated the kinkmeme in a month, sorry. This is the last few parts I've posted all in one.
> 
> I've had neither the time nor the willpower to write. I may try soon, but I have a research essay, a literary essay and presentation, and a website to finish along with two exams coming up and a convention late June (I'm cosplaying Hanji!).
> 
> Busy, busy, busy....

Eren moved through the streets with a determined fire in his eyes. He needed to get to the front lines and he needed to get there now. There were no buts or ifs. He had already wasted enough time, and shit – he had forgotten to mention anything he deduced during his fight with the Colossal Titan! Gritting his teeth, he continued on. He'd deal with it later.

“Eren,” Thomas chuckled, trailing behind him with the rest of their squad. “You seem pretty determined to get to the titans. Be careful or you might fly right into one's mouth.”

Eren let himself give a small smirk. “You're just worried that I'm gonna kill more titans than you,” he teased, still trying to get to his destination as soon as possible. He felt his jaw slacken a little as his body let go of some of the tension. Right. He was getting closer.

“We'll see about that then!” Thomas retorted with the same good spirit. 

“Eren...” Armin began, chewing on his lip. “Be careful, you're using up a lot of gas.”

“I'll be fine,” Eren promised him, as he made an especially sharp turn. He could see titans now. So close... Footsteps filled the air around them, making it clear they were in dangerous territory now.

“Watch out, there's an aberrant!” someone cried, but their voiced was drowned out by cry of pain.

Eren landed on the roof, staring back at the others. No. His heart thudded in his chest. The rest of the squad stood on the roofs, mouths agape in the same shock Eren was feeling. 

Thomas let out another scream as he struggled against the titan that held him between its teeth. Blood was beginning to drip, running down its chin. Eren found himself frozen in place, thoughts racing. Images of other people he held dear entered his mind, and soon they reached the same bloody fate. How was he to kill all the titans if he could barely keep the people around him alive? Was he was being too selfish, thinking too much of his loved ones and his own goals? 

Maybe he was, but it didn't change that this was all the fault of the titans. He felt sick as one of Thomas's bones made an audible crunch as it was crushed. The sound brought a feeling surging through Eren, and with a renewed flame in his heart Eren found himself rushing towards the titan in rage. He wanted this aberrant dead and gone, no matter what it took! 

He didn't make it in time - the titans got there first. They began to swarm the aberrant with their maws open wide. It was only a few, namely the ones that had been in the general area, but they made quick work. The sickening sound of flesh being torn filled the air – but to Eren, it was music to his hears. For a moment he forgot all about his fallen comrade and just enjoyed the sounds as he slowed himself down to a stop. 

There was loud sound behind him. His eyes snapped over, body ready to fight, but he was merely greeted with the sight of his squad-mates. The sound had been Mina, who had just broken her leg in a poor landing. 

Eren began to remember his reasons for his anger. He swallowed, realising it was far too late to help Thomas. The fact that his torso currently laid on the ground beneath him, blood smeared into the dirt, told him just that. He wasn't a squeamish person but the sight of someone he had known by name dead, with their organs out in the open... it was enough to nearly make him vomit. 

Armin put an arm around Eren. He managed to tear his eyes away, looking instead at the confused faces of the others. “We can mourn later,” Eren murmured. “Is Mina okay?” 

Mylius shook his head. He was inspecting her leg, which she clutched between blood stained fingers. “She landed weird, her leg looks pretty beat up. The bone broke through the skin and everything.” Mina let out a whimper.

“This wouldn't have happened if someone didn't run off like a suicidal idiot,” Nac muttered, scowling as he gave Mina a glance over.

“It h-happened because I thought a titan was trying to grab me,” Mina said slowly, clearly biting back tears of pain. “I head footsteps and I guess I just... made a bad move.”

Eren looked away as she spoke. He couldn't let the guilt eat away at him just yet. “Sorry,” he murmured, unsure of what else to say.

“Sorry? Yeah, I doubt it. You sure were in a hurry to get us all killed not even five minutes ago. You could have gotten eaten as well if it wasn't for...” Nac gestured at the gruesome mess only metres away from them. “That. Whatever _that_ is.”

Armin stepped forward. “Listen, I know its hard dealing with Thomas's death but we mustn't fight between us,” he pleaded. “It'll lead to our own undoing. Alright?” 

Mylius gave a quick nod in agreement. Nac sighed. “Alright. This is just too bizarre. They never mentioned titans eating each other in school or training. Did this happen in Shiganshina too?”

Eren shook his head.“No, o-” However, Armin cut him off almost instantly.

“Yes, it did. I don't think it's very common outside the walls. I think maybe the inclosed spaces and all the people send them into a sort of frenzy. They're probably fighting over who gets to eat us,” Armin mused, glancing at Eren for a moment. 

Eren blinked again before pressing his lips together into a thin line. From what he knew, Armin was lying through his teeth. But Eren knew why: to save his skin. Of course... Titans acting weird only around him would bring suspicions, but Armin's lie was a good one. Eren almost found himself believing it as well. “Yeah. I didn't see too much of that, I guess, but I know Armin mentioned his theory for it once.” Eren smiled like he knew something they didn't. Smooth. It was a wonder he had kept this secret for 15 years. To their luck, their squad nodded, buying the fib without a single question.

Armin knelt down, looking over Mina's legs. “You guys should get her over the wall. They likely have started up an infirmary for people already. She'll definitely needs one person to carry her, and one to keep them both safe.” He stood up, looking at Nac and Mylius. “I think you guys would be the best. I'm not very strong at all, and Eren's far to rash. He'd likely mess up.”

Eren rolled his eyes, knowing that Armin's disguised teasing was true to some extent. He knew he could do it if he put his heart into it, but his heart was in far more violent places.

The two men nodded, before Mylius began to pick Mina up. He was mindful of her wound, which she looked grateful for. Anxiety was clearly written on Mylius's face. “What about you two?” he asked.

“We'll go on ahead, and try to join up with another squad. Plus, I didn't get into the top 10 for nothing. Armin and I should be fine alone for a little bit,” Eren replied, itching to get going. 

Nac turned to Mylius. “Let's go,” he ordered, jumping off the building as he deployed his gear. “We'll catch up with you guys at HQ!” 

Eren and Armin were soon left alone. Felt some tension leave him as he turned to his friend. “Did you see that?”

Armin nodded slowly, not looking at Eren. “They're almost done with the aberrant,” he murmured, putting a hand on his chin. Eren recognised this as one of Armin's many thinking faces. “You didn't order them to do anything, did you? At least not verbally.” 

“That's right. So... I guess this means...?”

“It means that it's not all verbal. It's almost... psychic, like in those fairy tales we used to read,” Armin continued. “Or it's connected to your emotions. Or maybe even both.” He turned to Eren, eyes giving a dull sparkle that was reminiscent of the childlike curiosity Armin's eyes had once held, all those years ago. “What were you thinking when it happened?”

Eren frowned for a moment, thinking back. “I guess... I just thought about how I wanted that titan dead no matter what.”

“That's probably it. Somehow, that thought commanded the titans and they dealt with it in the thing they do best – eat flesh,” he said with a grimace at the thought.

“Well, it's useful. And if I don't always have to speak it'll mean they won't catch onto me.”

“At least not as fast,” Armin replied, shaking his head. “I really don't think you'll be able to keep this safe forever, Eren.”

Eren looked dead into Armin's eyes. “Don't you trust me, Armin?”

“I do!” he said defensively. “It's just there are a lot of people in the scouting legion who are hungry for theories and information regarding the titans. They are bound to notice odd behavioural patterns and while they may come up with a theory like mine, it's still possible that they could realise you are connected to it. It's not that I think you're too careless, I just think we are dealing with people who see even the smallest details.”

Eren went silent, mulling over Armin's words. He had a point, even if he didn't want to admit it. “Whatever, Armin. Stop being glum for a moment, and let's get to the gate. I wanna test out some more of my abilities.”

Armin gave a deep sigh. “Alright. Let's go.”

* * *

As they navigated through the city, Armin found himself trailing a few feet behind Eren, feeling just a smudge anxious. “Hey, I meant to mention this when Mikasa was with us, but I forgot. When the gate was destroyed, I tried to kill the Colossal Titan,” Eren began.

“You what?” Armin cried. He was starting to think that maybe Eren was going out of his way to get himself killed. 

Eren continued, ignoring Armin's words. “It was intelligent,” he called as they ran. “It didn't give a single flying fuck about me. Instead it went straight for the gate, and then for the mounted canons on the wall. It was slow as hell, sure, but then the moment I nearly cut it's fucking nape open like butter, it up and disappears into thin air.”

Armin stared at Eren like he was suddenly naked. “What?” That was a lot to take in and he knew Eren was not one for mind games. He was saying exactly what he had perceived. 

“Yeah... I wish I had a better time to bring it up but,” Eren replied, giving a shrug.

“That's a lot to take in. It does explain a lot though... I mean, if it can think, it knows what to attack and the such. There's probably more who are intelligent too.” Armin started to grumble to himself. “This isn't good.”

“What about is disappearing? Any explanations?” 

“None that I know of,” Armin admitted. Great. What a help he was. Stating the obvious and then not knowing anything else. You're a real help, Armin! Before he continue his inner monologue of self hate, they gave an abrupt stop. In front of them laid the ruins of the gate, destroyed behind any recognition.

There was carnage; what was left of the bodies of dead soldiers and unfortunate civilians littered the ground. The iron smell of blood was strong. Armin felt queasy, reminded far too much of Shiganshina. None of the other trainees were in the area, though there were still some living Garrison soldiers. A good sign, he hoped with baited breath. 

Even if he was a soldier, he wasn't sure if he could get used to seeing people die. Oh, Armin knew he had to continue on; he had to walk over their corpses to survive. That didn't make it any easier.

Eren took a deep breath, staring at a titan that made Armin think of Eren's father, almost. “Hey,” he said with a dark sort of humour in his voice. He spoke more loudly now, but Armin wasn't even sure if that would help anything. “I have a little proposition for you monsters: instead of eating humans, I want you to rip apart every titan you see. Kill them all! Every last titan!” Verbal orders. Even if he had talked about testing out his nonverbal ones, it seemed Eren was a little attached to the sound of his own voice.

Armin didn't like this side of Eren much. He didn't enjoy the bloodthirsty look that his friend held in his eyes. It sent a shiver down his spine. Come on, Armin, he thought to himself. It's Eren! He won't hurt you! 

He knew that. He really did. But Eren's crazed grin just made the reality of his friend's darker side all the more difficult to ignore. He knew about it, sure. Armin had been told about how Mikasa became a part of Eren's family, and heard all of Eren's angry rants. He knew full well what the boy could be like. He didn't hate Eren for it - it was a part of him, and really, Armin often found himself agreeing. 

It didn't mean it wasn't creepy though.

Eren kept wearing the crazed grin as the titans began to follow out his orders, attacking each other in an extremely brutal matter similar to that of how the aberrant had been killed. 

The Garrison soldiers had started to regroup, finally snapping out of their confusion. They jumped into action, trying to take out what titans they could. Soon the ground was littered in smoking corpses.

Armin moved a little closer to Eren in worry. The boy was visibly shaking, but the grin was still on his face. Eventually it cooled down into a smirk. It didn't calm Armins nerves, however, as Eren still looked far too satisfied.“Eren... are you alright?” Armin asked softly.

“I'm fine,” Eren said a little too harshly. Without warning, the boy then moved to jump, heading over to another building. Armin followed at a less hurried pace.

“Come on. I don't know how much of a range I've got, and I still want to try out nonverbal commands.”

“Don't use so much gas, Eren,” Armin told him. He tried to assume himself that Eren would be fine. He had powers to control the titans, for Maria's sake! Yet, the feeling stayed there, lingering. 

“And who are you? Mikasa?” He couldn't tell if Eren was teasing or actually annoyed with him. As much as Armin cared for him, there were some days that Eren was a pain to be around.

* * *

“Ymir, are you okay?” 

“No! I need to... to... I... I'm fine, Krista.”

* * *

'Kill them all! Every last titan you can find!'

Reiner nearly crashed, gripping his head. What? He managed to bring himself to a stop, resting on the roof of a building – far enough away from the titans to not have to worry. Still, for a moment, he felt a need to kill. To spill the blood of the beasts and not stop until there was none left. He was able to resist it but still felt disoriented.

“Reiner!” Someone's voice. Marco? “Are you okay?” He could hear the boy's hurried footsteps on the roof tiles. Reiner didn't look up even as Marco crouched beside him, likely looking for injuries. Bertholdt followed suit, landing along with Annie. 

Reiner glanced up at them. The look in their eyes told him he wasn't the only one who had heard that. Did that mean... someone here had the ability. Which meant one thing: the Coordinate was in Trost. This uprooted all of their plans – but if they could get that person... take them to the village... Reiner shook the thoughts out of his mind. His head was spinning still, and part of him wondered why he was even helping Annie and Bertl if he cared so much about the other trainees.

“We'll help him out,” Annie said curtly, her sharp voice cutting through the confusion that clouded Reiner's mind. Marco backed off, before going to talk to the other members of their squad, who appeared just as lost as Reiner had felt moments ago. Good. It'd give them some time to talk amongst themselves, away from prying ears.

“Do... do you think that voice might be...?” Reiner began, standing up now. 

“The Coordinate? Most likely. I have a feeling he may be a soldier, then,” Annie replied, crossing her arms. Her muscles were tense, almost like she was trying to stop herself from drawing her own blades.

Reiner and Bertholdt both nodded in agreement. It seemed the likely route, especially if the Coordinate was any where near their age. They assumed he was, after all, else why send children to fight and kill? It seemed only logical. 

“To think he's been right under our noses the whole time....”

* * *

Mikasa sighed a little. Why was she remembering how she met Eren at a time like this? At least the evacuation was going smoothly once more, now that that she had put that merchant, Reebs, in his place. She turned towards the smoking titan corpse, gripping her swords tightly.

Most titans hadn't come near the area, but the amount of steam that rose into the air told her just why. She smiled ever so slightly, knowing that Eren had a hand in that. She knew he had to – there were far too many dead titans for the how things usually went if her memories from training served her right.

Mikasa's expression turned to one of determination. With the evacuation nearly over, she figured she would break formation to catch up with the others, or perhaps even try to see if she could rescue her adoptive mother. Mikasa only hoped that someone had gotten to her first.

She started to head away from the gates when familiar face appeared in the crowd. “Hannes!” she called as she sheathed her swords. He was unharmed but a little shaken, and carried someone in his arms. 

Mikasa froze. She didn't need to see the face. The thick chocolate hair told her everything she needed to know. “Carla!” she called, running over now.

Hannes eyes snapped over to meet hers. “She's alive, if that's what you're wonderin',” he told her. “I think she's in another state of shock. The titans probably triggered some sort of trauma from... what happened five years ago.” 

“Will she be alright?” Mikasa asked. She didn't even bother to mask her worry. There was no need too, not in front of Hannes.

“I don't know,” Hannes began, but continued quickly at the sight of Mikasa's crestfallen face. “She probably will be, though, don't worry.” 

The girl nodded, pulling her scarf meekly over her mouth. Hannes sighed softly as he adjusted his grip on Carla. “I'm going to get her to safety before going back to help everyone... though I saw a lot of titan corpses on my way here. I'm not sure if they'll need my help!” He let out barking laughter that held a twinge of bitterness. 

Hannes wet his lips, deep in thought for a moment. “Mikasa... Eren wouldn't happen to do anything with this, would he?” 

Mikasa blinked but she nodded slowly. “Yes,” she said. “He mentioned a little about his plan before he left to go fight.”

Hannes nodded and seemed to be debating silently with himself. However, before Mikasa could ask him what was wrong, he spoke. “Where was Eren when this began?” he asked, eyeing her curiously.

“On the wall,” she answered slowly, unsure of why Hannes was asking this, “patrolling it with other trainees. He was likely around the gate at the time.”

Hannes's face went dark. “How do we know he didn't have a part in starting this?”

Mikasa's hands flew to her swords. She gripped it tight enough for her knuckles to turn white. How dare someone accuse Eren, of all people, of being the reason for their plight! No... he couldn't have. Eren would never do such a thing, and she knew it. She knew full well that Eren wasn't afraid to kill, but she also knew he hated those who preyed on the innocent. 

Hannes seemed to notice her body language. He removed his hand from over top of Carla's hand, which gripped his shirt rightly, and put it up in front of him defensively. “No, no, I just thought that... ” he trailed off. “I don't know anymore. I just feel like there's some kind of connection between them. But maybe I'm over thinking things.” He shrugged it off, before beginning to head towards the gate to Wall Rose.

Mikasa's brows furrowed at Hannes rambling, but she said nothing. Was there a connection? She doubted she would start believing that Eren wanted this to happen but... Eren had been there both times the Colossal Titan appeared.

“I need to go find the others,” she mumbled to herself, hurrying across the uneven cobblestones.

Hannes glanced back at her. “...It was nice to see you again, Mikasa. You've grown so much.” With those finally words he left for good, leaving Mikasa alone as she walked.

She didn't bother to give him a sparing glance, instead heading into the abandoned streets at an even faster pace.

* * *

Eren grinned at the remains that littered the city. “This is even better than I hoped!” he cheered, turning to Armin. “Come on, I'm sure there's more titans who entered the city. We should have enough gas to get to the gate.” 

Armin wasn't too sure about that, but he didn't voice his concerns. They took off again, using their gear to manoeuvre around the the crumbling bones. Armin was silent for a moment, focusing his mind on controlling where he was going.

He was pulled back out of his thoughts however when Eren let out a cry. As if to help prove Armin's previous fears right, Eren ran out of gas not five minutes after they began to push forwards. The boy was suddenly falling, before taking a tumble onto a roof. He hit hard, sliding and breaking the tiles, stopping just short of falling off. Armin's breath caught in his throat. “Eren! Are you okay?” 

Eren pushed himself up, his face askew in pain. “Yeah, just scratched myself up a little.” True to his word, some blood began to bead along a few cuts he had obtained. 

Armin ran over to Eren, looking his friend over. “I'm fine, Armin,” Eren whined. Armin took his hands off him with a sigh.

“Yeah, it's mostly minor. Worst thing could have been a hit to the head. But now you're out of gas, Eren.” Eren averted his sea green eyes then. Armin resisted the urge to roll his own before continuing. “You're being reckless. Here,” Armin told him, as he fiddled with his tanks. 

“If you give me yours you'll be stranded,” Eren said as he watched him.

Armin shook his head. “Well... there should be enough for you to carry me, if you think you can. I mean... I don't to be a burden but... there's enough to get us to the HQ for refills or to the wall maybe.” Eren nodded, before he seemed to have some kind of revelation. 

“What is it, Eren?”

Eren stood up this, his legs a little shaky from his tumble. “Where are the people who are supposed to be helping us?” he asked. “Shouldn't there have been others from the HQ with more gas or...?”

Armin frowned a bit. “I thought they were taking awhile because of HQ being on the other side of the city, earlier, but I can see the top of it right now, over those buildings.” 

“Exactly,” Eren replied. “I don't like this. We need to go there now.” 

“At least wait until I give you my tank.”

* * *

Mikasa's chest burned as she ran. She wasn't sure how long it had been, but with how little titans there were in the area, it made more sense to run instead of wasting her fuel. Though she had started to get worried, as she had finally started to see actual living titans. 

She could also see a group of trainees just above her. Was Eren with them? She brought herself over to them, landing seamlessly with her 3DMG. A quick survey told here that there was no Eren or Armin, but she did see some familiar faces.

“Ah, Krista, have you seen Eren or Armin anywhere?” she asked, heading past some others to face the small blonde girl.

Krista shook her head. “No, I haven't seem them at all. I saw some of their squad though. They said one person was eaten and another injured so they split up. They haven't seen them since,” she replied, just as Ymir came over to her.

Ymir put her arm around Krista, grinning. “I think that's code for 'they both got eaten and there's no remains',” she interjected. Mikasa's face went dark and her hands shook slightly. No. No no no. She didn't want to think about this.

Krista was quick speak, and tripped over her words a little. “Nuh- Wha- Sh- Ymir's just joking, I swear!”

“It wasn't very funny,” Mikasa retorted, her annoyance directed at Ymir. She glowered at Ymir with hands on her hips.

Ymir gave a loud snort before she blew a raspberry towards Mikasa. What a child, Mikasa thought. “And you have no sense of humour,” Ymir quipped.

“Both of you, stop! There was already enough fighting between people earlier... everyone is just a bit frazzled!” Krista cried. “I mean... with the gate being destroyed and then the deaths and the titans attacking each other, I can see why.”

Ymir pulled Krista even closer. “That's my Krista! Always trying to make peace. After this mission is over, marry me,” she teased. 

Mikasa turned away from them, figuring that was all of the useful information that they had. Her gaze swept over the crowd. She paused, listening in on a conversation between Marco, Reiner, and Jean. 

“Are you still feeling bad, Reiner? You were acting weird earlier,” Marco asked, voice full of concern. 

Reiner just shook his head a little. “I'm fine now. Just... It wasn't anything important,” he reassured. “Don't worry about it.” His eyes turned to the walls, and for a moment, a dark emotion flashed across his face. “Why isn't anyone scaling them, anyways?”

Jean gritted his teeth. “It's because most people don't have gas from fighting them. A lot of the titans have been attacking each other, but new ones keep coming that are more interested in humans. It's kind of fucked up, really,” he said, running a hand through his hair nervously. “I mean, at first it seemed like a blessing but then the amount of titans attacking each started to dwindle because they were killing each other off and then they got replaced titans who just wanted humans.” 

Reiner was silent, only giving Jean a nod. Marco turned towards Jean. “Well... there's got to be at least some rogue titans still alive, right?”

“Maybe.” Jean didn't seem very convinced. “But that doesn't change the fact that the stupid soldiers who were supposed to run the refill mission locked themselves in the damn building the moment more non-rogue titans showed up.”

Jean put his face in his hands. “What a boring life I've lived... for it end like this.” Marco gave him a sympathetic look.

Reiner turned to Annie as she spoke to him. “Reiner... what should we do?” she asked him.

“We wait, at least 'til they gather 'round,” he answered curtly.

Marco bit at his lip. His optimism melted away. “We can't get out of town... and there's more titans coming in. I know we were all prepared to die but... What the hell are we dying for?” he asked to no one in particular, looking blankly at the sky above.

Mikasa turned away from their gloomy talk, just as Eren and Armin landed nearby. “Mikasa!” Armin called, waving at her. A few eyes turned to look at them, but Mikasa was focused only on her two closest friends.

She ran over to them, frowning at the bits of blood on Eren. “What happened?” she asked, looking him over. 

Eren swatted weakly at her hand. “No need to mother me! I just ran out of guess and took a fall. Nothing big. We weren't that far away, though, but well... We're out.”

Mikasa knelt down. “Take one of my tanks. I barely used any.” She began to switch them out before either boy could object.

“Why's everyone standing around?” Eren asked, scrutinizing the crowd. 

“Same reason you had to carry Armin here,” Jean snapped, heading over to them. “We're fucked.”

Eren raised an eyebrow. “We can get more gas, can't we? HQ's not too far from here.” 

Jean barked out laughter. “Please. I saw it. It sounded by non-rogue titans. It's hopeless.”

“Non-rogue titans?” Armin repeated.

“Yeah, we've been calling the titans that attack each other 'rogue' titans.” Jean explained. “Not much else too it.”

Eren nodded, trying his best to not smile. “I'm sure if we head over there we might be able to get some rogue titans attention and they can deal with the ones swarming the area.”

“That's really unlikely, Jaeger,” Jean snapped. 

“But it's our only real plan,” Armin murmured. “Isn't it better to die trying to survive than just laying down in acceptance to your fate?” 

“Well, I...” Jean sighed. “It doesn't change how pointless this all is!” A few people murmured in agreement.

Armin didn't look too sure, but instead of replying he merely looked at his feet. Eren opened his mouth to say something, taking a step forward, only for Mikasa to put her hand out on his chest. “I'll handle this,” she told him, before clearing her throat.

“You may believe it is pointless, but that doesn't mean it is. There's a spark of hope, and it's one we need to grasp before it slips from our fingers for good,” she began. “We could easily take the headquarters back with our own skills, and as Eren said, a little luck.” Of course, that was part of the skills too, but they didn't need to know that.

“B-but,” Marco spoke up, “even with you helping us... there's so many of them. You couldn't possibl-”

Mikasa cut him off. “I can do it,” she replied, voice stone cold. She took out her swords, raising one into the air.“I am strong, stronger than all of you! That's why I'll be able to drive the enemy out of here, even on my own.” Mikasa glanced back at Eren and Armin. “Of course, I won't be alone. But I guess the rest of you are just cowardly and pathetic.” She shook her a head a little. “It's really too bad. Stay here. Suck your thumbs, and watch us do it.”

“Mikasa... what are you saying? You can't possibly take all those titans with just three people!”

Mikasa turned to leave, the other two following suit. “If I can't do it,” she said, voice distant, “I'll just die. But if I win, I live.”

“If we don't fight,” Eren began, glancing back at the others. 

“We can't win,” Armin finished, sounding the least sure of the three of them. Still, there was a look of determination sparking within him, which brought more confidence to Mikasa.

They left then, taking off towards the Garrison's building. Mikasa glanced over at Eren. “This gives you some time to give orders without being caught,” she said. 

Eren grinned at her. “Way ahead of you! I've got a few tricks I've learned. I'll explain at a better time.”

Mikasa nodded, before focusing on their mission ahead.

* * *

“What's 'too bad' is your way with words,” Jean muttered. He felt sweat forming on his face.“I'm sure you were trying to light an ash in our hearts that way but...” He gritted his teeth, his nails digging roughly into the palm of his hands.

His thoughts went to his mother, for a moment, and then to the military police, and all the people he had met during training. “Eren, this is all your fault. You and you're stupid words. Now you've got Mikasa spewing shit like that too.”

He turned to the others. “Hey!” he cried. “We were taught to let some of our own fight alone?” Jean began to run now, heading towards the headquarters. “She's right you know! All of you really are making yourselves into worthless beings and cowards!”

His words seemed to the the nail in the coffin, as soon everyone else was joining in. More insults could be heard, but his mind couldn't focus on them. Jean sucked in a deep breath. This could either be the last fight of his life, or the first fight into his new one.

* * *

Glass cut into Eren's skin as he crashed through the window. He went into a roll, before looking around what was left of the headquarters curiously. “We made it,” he breathed, looking over at Mikasa beside him. Other trainees soon began to follow, tumbling into the building and away from the titans outside. 

“They're busy fighting each other for now, so it gives us some time,” Armin murmured, barely heard over Jean yelling at the squad that had been trapped inside HQ. 

“You left us for dead, you cowards!” he yelled, but Eren turned away and let Jean's voice become white noise in the background.

The next few minutes were a blur. After all, they had to work fast just to be safe. No one knew how long the non-rogue titans would be distracted - past Eren, Mikasa, and Armin anyways, but they weren't saying anything.

Eren sat around a map along with Mikasa and Armin. They spoke in hushed tones to keep anyone from overhearing them. “Why can't I use my powers?” Eren asked Armin, hand on the boy's shoulder.

Armin trailed his fingers through his hair. “Well... I was thinking that, since everyone seems to be convinced that the titans in the basement are normal, non-rogue titans, it would be off if they suddenly were. Can you call off orders?”

“Probably. I think there's a few alive down there, but I'm not 100% sure,” Eren replied, sighing a little. “It'd be so much easier if we let them eat other. Can't we just say another titan got in?”

Armin shook his head. “Taking the easy path might get you caught, Eren. And no, that'll cause paranoia. Because if more rogue titans can get in, so can normal ones.”

Jean soon joined them with a box of Military Police guns in his arms, effectively cutting off their little talk. “So, what's the plan?” he asked, not really speaking to anyone in particular. “I mean... how useful are these guns against Titans?”

“It's a lot better than nothing,” Armin replied. “We can use them to incapacitate a titan, if it's small enough.”

Jean nodded as Armin continued to explain his plan. The boy's fingers ghosted over the map and soon almost everyone was engrossed in his words. “For this, we're going to assume the amount of titans in the gas room hasn't changed. First, we lower the lift full of gunners. If the titans are ordinary, they'll gather. When timing is right, the gunners will let fire and shoot the titans eyes - blinding them.”

Armin paused, taking in a deep breath. He was trying to fake confidence and cover up the nervousness he was likely feeling,. His eyes betrayed his face with their honesty. “The next part will decide everything. Seven people will swoop down from the ceiling in time with the shots and slash their weak points to kill them. In short... all of our lives ride on this.” Well, perhaps not all. If something went wrong, Eren was more than ready to step in.

Armin's grave words seemed to hit a chord with the others, as they all wore determined faces. It brought a smile to Eren's own. This was good. They were soldiers, and they were going to fight – they were going to win.

“The point is,” Armin continued, “that seven people will kill seven titans all at once. The seven people with the best athletic ability should ought to do the job. That'd be Mikasa, Jean, Reiner, Bertholdt, Annie, Sasha, and Eren. I... um, I'm sorry, but you'll have to bear the burden of everyone's lives on your shoulders.”

“No problem,” Reiner told him.

“The risk's the same no matter who does it,” Annie pointed out.

Armin glanced around, his face twisting in anxiety. His attempts at hiding his true emotions crumbled. “But... is my plan really the best option?” he asked, resting his forehead against his fist. 

Marco gave him a reassuring look. “We've gotta go with it. There's no time to think of anything else. Besides, I think we're all out of ideas – this is probably the best one we have. We just need to throw ourselves into this one, heart and soul!”

Armin glanced up at him. He looked surprised by Marco's kind words. Eren's grip on Armin tightened. “He's right, you know. I'm sure this will work.”

Mikasa nodded a little. “It's okay,” she told him. “Have confidence in your ability to lead people who they need to go, Armin. You've used it to save my life before in the past, as well as Eren's.”

“...It has? When?” Armin began, standing up as everyone began to head to the lift. 

Eren smiled at him. “We'll talk about it later. We've got a plan to put into action.”

* * *

Armin's plan was working so far. Eren's heart thudded in his chest from his spot in the rafters. Seven devils in all... This could work. He felt sweat form on his forehead as the beasts slowly approached the lift. Any moment now, he'd jump. Slash. And then revel in his victory.

Gun shots rang through the building. Eren leap forward, swords ready. Two simultaneous cuts. Just like with the Colossal Titan. Only this time – this time for sure – he would not fail.

Eren felt his swords slice flesh. Before he even landed he knew the bitter truth. No. He hadn't done it even done it right. If he had just been a little higher and kept his hands closer together... he would have gotten it. He had failed and it stung.

“Eren and Sasha!” Marco's voice rang out into room. “Hurry, they need backup!”

Eren tumbled onto the ground, landing straight on his ass. “Fuck,” he muttered, before glancing up. A large hand reached before him, causing panic to well up his chest. His mind flashed to Shiganshina and then to Thomas, before bringing more and more thoughts of his possible fate to mind. Eren backed up, ignoring the tears that threatened to form in his eyes. “Don't you dare touch me!” he screeched, not bothering to hide his fear. The titan stopped moving towards him, slowly recoiling it's hand away from him.

Of course, Eren didn't have to think long about what the others would think of the titan stopping. Only seconds after the words left his mouth the titan feel to its knees, and began to disintegrate into steam. 

Annie's icy eyes looked into his for a moment. Eren felt his very being go cold. He felt like she could see right into his soul, and was unhappy with what she saw.

“That was close, Annie,” Reiner said as he headed over to help Eren up. Eren begrudgingly accepted his aid, as he found it hard to say no to someone he respected as much as Reiner. It wasn't like he could wound his pride anymore after that. He could already hear Jean's taunting words in his mind. Still, Eren began to calm himself. Right. He wasn't a normal human being. Titans were not as dangerous to him, and he should have known that. He tried to not feel ashamed at forgetting for a moment. 

“I'm glad you didn't get hurt,” Reiner continued. 

Annie didn't speak. She sheathed her blades, turning away from her kill to refill her tanks. Eren thanked Reiner softly, before going to follow Annie's example while Mikasa tried to pry Sasha off of herself.

* * *

Annie was silent while she fiddled with the hose for the natural gas. Reiner came over to her with Bertholdt in tow. “It's him, isn't it?” he said in a low tone, trying hard to keep from being overheard.

“I think so. His voi-” she cut herself off as Eren ran over to them.

He still had a red tint to his cheeks, making it clear his pride was still hurt. “Hey.. uh, yeah, thanks for helping me back there, Annie. You're really strong and stuff,” he said awkwardly. 

Annie just nodded as she met his eyes. “You're still really bad at talking to girls,” she chastised in a teasing manner, which prompted an eye roll from Eren. 

“It's a little hard to learn when they're busy putting my face in the dirt,” Eren joked, before turning to go back to Armin and Mikasa.

Annie watched his retreating back for a moment. What an idiot. But an idiot she'd have to keep her eyes on. “It's definitely him. The voice is too similar,” she said after he was gone. “Did you hear the order too?” Annie asked them. “When he said it to the titan. I felt like I heard it in my mind as well, not just from outside.” 

Reiner nodded, a grave expression on his face. “Right after Eren, Mikasa, and Armin left to come here, I heard an order then as well.”

“It's likely him. The timing of that one is a big give away but the voices are far too similar for it to be a coincidence,” she concluded.

“I guess finding him wasn't so hard, eh?” Reiner grinned as he finished up with the gas pump.“But... that may have been the easy part.”

“How so?” Bertholdt piped up, looking up from his gear.

“This is Eren we're talking about,” Reiner replied, shaking his head. “He hates Titans with every part of his being. And he saw what happened to the wall first hand – twice.” Reiner gave Bertholdt a look then, causing the other boy to look away sheepishly. “In short, he's not going to come with us willingly. And we don't know if he's a shifter too, or not.”

Annie seemed to give an expression that could pass for a smile. “I doubt it. Though, if he was, it'd be some cruel irony.”

* * *

“Come on, Jaeger, we've got to go!” Jean hissed, glaring at the boy. 

Eren frowned. He had been planning on using the lift to get back up to the upper floors before putting the last part of his impromptu plan into action.“That gate though, they haven-” The bloodlust had consumed him, leaving him only wanting to kill the titans and in the euphoria of it all he had completely forgotten about the boulder. It only came back to him when it was too late – when he had no more gas. And now here he was, being trucked around by other trainees who could not know his secret.

“I'm just following orders, you idiot. We need to get to the wall. They signalled for a temporary evacuation of all military persons awhile ago!” Jean snapped. Marco tried to calm him down to no avail.

“But-” Eren began, glancing at Armin for a second.

“No buts! Just follow orders,” Jean ground out, trying to leave. Eren groaned, but he soon found himself being urged on by the others. Great. 

Marco gave him a small smile. “I told him he was a good leader but I think it's getting to his head now,” he said. “Though... I think he's just stressed out. We saw a few people die.”

Eren swallowed, nodding a little. For all his powers there was still death. He wanted to blame it on the titans as he often did but he knew he really didn't believe that. Oh, he hated titans still, but a part of him always felt guilty for the deaths no matter how hard he tried to convince himself it otherwise. He could have stopped them, if he had been stronger, faster, smarter... 

Eren took in a deep breath, trying to stay focused. “Do you know what's going to happen next?” he asked Marco as the group of trainees began to make their way to the wall. 

Marco shook his head. “I don't know at all.”

Eren sighed, ending the conversation there. Alright. He'd have to figure out another way to get to the gate without causing suspicion. He mentally kicked himself for not thinking of doing it earlier. He considered stopping and ordering some other titans to do it, but there seemed to be none in the area, and his mental orders went unheard.

* * *

“What's the hold up for? The titan's are attacking each other, but why aren't we taking back Trost yet?” Connie asked, glancing around. 

“They can't seal the gate, that's what I was told,” Mikasa murmured, sighing. “The plan they had isn't going well.” 

“You mean with the boulder?” Armin piped up. “I can see why. I think even a 15 metre titan would struggle with that!” Connie gave a snort, but lost interest in them. He left, mumbling something about Sasha.

Armin turned back to his friends. “Oh no... Eren... I don't like that look on your face,” he said, exasperated. 

Eren grinned a little. “Aw come on. I feel stupid for forgetting it until it was too late. We need to get Trost back, right? It's important to fight for as much as we can, and if we do get it back... think about it. It'll be the first victory for humanity! And I can pull a few strings that the rest of the military can't. We just need to get back out there...”

Armin didn't seem sure for a moment. “But... it might not be worth the risk. Unless you're thinking the Armoured titan is still going to appear.”

Eren nodded curtly. “Yeah... If he does show up, I'm not sure if I'll be able to control him.”

Mikasa blinked at that, titling her head a little. “What makes you think that, Eren?” she asked, genuinely curious. 

Eren clasped his hands together. Right. He hadn't told Mikasa yet about the Colossal Titan. He felt a small bit of nervousness go through him. Was she going to be upset at him? “When the Colossal Titan appeared, I tried to use my ability on it. It didn't work,” he began, noticing how tense Mikasa became, “but I noticed something else. It seemed intelligent. It only went for the mounted canons, ignoring me. And then it just disappeared.”

Mikasa frowned at the news. If anything, though, she seemed more concerned about Eren being in such a dangerous situation.

Armin bit on his lip, nodding. “Eren told me about this earlier. This means it is possible for a titan to be able to have enough thought to make decisions like that. It seems likely that the Armoured Titan is the same,” he elaborated, his hands moving in different motions as he talked. “They also both go for the gate – the weakest part of the wall. It's no coincidence then.”

“Right, which is why we need to get out there to stop any new titans from coming in. I didn't see the Armoured Titan, so he might not be in Trost yet. We need to stop him,” Eren hissed the last few words.

“How? They finished evacuating and whoever could make it back over the walls is here,” Armin pointed out. “It would look odd if we tried to go back out, even with the titans not being as big of a danger. I mean... there's too many eyes watching us right now.”

“There may be another counterattack,” Mikasa suggested. Her voice was even and smooth, but she seemed a little on edge.“We could slip away then.”

“But well they actually try for it?” Armin murmured, squeezing his knee. He looked lost in thought for a moment, but said nothing more.

“Maybe you could convince Commander Pixis?” Eren said, elbowing Armin a little. 

Armin shook his head. “How could I do that?” he asked, voice hush. “Short of revealing secrets that could get us killed or arrested, anyways.” 

The two of them were silent for a moment. “Be a little manipulative,” Mikasa said softly.

Armin cracked a forced smile. “I don't think I could be.” Armin wore an unsure face. It made Eren want to hug him, or maybe slap some sense into him.

Eren hummed in thought. “You just need to convince him that it's worth it. We could come help too, since all we really need is to get a few of us out there,” he told Armin. 

“Eren, it might be best that we just leave Trost alone,” Armin said, but Eren wasn't going to stop so easily. No, Eren wasn't about to give up. This meant too much for humanity to just throw in the towel.

“Please. Just try,” Eren begged. He clasped his over Armin's. “You're a smart person. I have confidence in you.” He meant it, he truly did. Part of him wondered how Armin couldn't see this, but he knew why. Armin always had been full of self-doubt, even when they were kids.

“You still might get caught!” Armin pointed out. His hands felt cold against Eren's.

“If it's to help humanity, it's worth it. A victory like this not only means people don't lose their home for good like we do, but it means that we keep the Armoured Titan out of Wall Rose – for now. It'll bring hope into people's hearts and encourage them to continue believing in our strife!” Eren wore face that showed he believed in every word he said. He wanted Armin to as well, but there was no way he could force the boy to. No, he had to let Armin believe in them on his own.

Armin sighed a little, looking down dejectedly. “If you really think this is the best option,” he began, still sounding hesitant, “I'll try my best.” He glanced back up. To Eren's delight, there was a small ember of something in his eyes once more. That was good sign, Eren knew.

* * *

Armin swallowed thickly. His whole body felt clammy as he headed towards where some of the Garrison soldiers were gathered. Their commander, Pixis, sat talking with them over what looked like important documents. Maps, maybe? Or plans? He wasn't sure.

Armin clenched and unclenched his hand several times. He glanced back at Mikasa and Eren – who claimed they came for support – and cleared his throat to draw some attention to him.

The soldiers glanced over. “Trainees?” one of them murmured to another.

“Rico, quiet.”

“Erm... about the plan, for what's going to happen next... to Trost I mean,” Armin began, mentally swearing at himself. God, he couldn't even get his words out right. He was going to fail. 

The soldier from before, Rico, blinked at him. “At the moment, we don't really have a plan. It seems like we're going to have to abandon the city.”

Armin nodded slowly. “Yeah, about that. I, uh, have a plan.” He had their full attention now, which caused an sinking feeling in his chest. His lungs were made of iron as he spoke, threatening to cut off his breathing altogether and put an end to his words. “I was thinking... that we should try to go back into Trost.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Rico scoffed, shaking her head. She stared him down, sending a chill through his body. “As it stands, it's pointless.”

“Well... the titans have been acting odd. Attacking each other, and such. And,” he paused, glancing at Eren. Eren gave him a little nod, edging him to continue on. “And one of the other trainees reported that the Colossal Titan purposely ignored him to go after the mounted canons,” Armin finished.

“So, you're trying to say it had intelligence?” Rico asked, raising an eyebrow. She folded her arms, head tilted ever so slightly.

“Yes,” Armin confirmed. “Which could mean that even normal titans have some form of thought.” So began the lies... Armin sucked in a deep breath. He fought against his urge to hyperventilate as he brought his hand to his chest, saluting the other soldiers. “What I propose is that we go back over the wall in an attempt to lure the titans to the boulder. If they take interest in it, some how, we may be able to use them to seal the gate.” 

Armin stared straight at Pixis, awaiting the man's reaction. He had been awfully quite. It was making Armin anxious. He felt like shaking but knew that now was the worst time to show such weakness.

“...we'll do it,” Pixis said finally. His hand slipped into his jacket, revealing a flask he had hidden away. Slowly, he opened it to take a small sip. No one spoke, but more than one soldier gave him a look.

“What?” Rico turned to him, shock in her eyes. Her arms dropped to her side almost immediately. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“It's farfetched. But... its the only thing we got,” he replied, smiling slightly. 

“But sir!” 

“Look at this boy's salute. He's a true soldier. We already got the civilians out, they're the priority. The titans have barely touched our soldiers compared to what normally happens. It's worth the risk to go in again. If it doesn't work, we leave, and abandon Trost for good,” Pixis drawled out, looking far too casual for what he spoke off. “And if it does work... It'll be the first damn time humans have ever had a victory in this war.”

Armin felt something flutter in his chest, freeing his lungs from their iron bonds. He could see a look in Pixis's eye that showed he had some faith in Armin's plan. Even if it wasn't much... he was still willing to try.

“Yes, sir,” Rico muttered. She looked away, but didn't object any farther.

Pixis stood up straight, boots clicking on the stone. “I can't spare you too many soldiers, of course, but I'm sure I could encourage a few to come with a little speech.” He smiled at them, and for a moment Armin was reminded of his grandfather. “I don't believe I caught your names.”

“Uh, Arlert, sir. Armin Arlert,” Armin replied. He pointed at his friends. “And these two are Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman.”

Pixis nodded as he returned the silver flask to his jacket. “Armin... Alright, I'll start the preparations then. Let's hope that scheme of yours works.” He waved a hand towards them as he turned, urging them to follow.

* * *

“Reiner, you should go with them,” Annie whispered into his hear. She strained herself to even get close to his ear. Reiner resisted the urge to laugh, because this was Annie and Pixis had announced their next move. He had even given a speech that could be considered rousing. 

“What, why?” he asked, eyebrows knitting together. He glanced down at Annie, kneeling down slightly so she didn't have to stand on her tip toes. 

Annie pretended not to notice. “To keep an eye on Eren. And, if anything goes wrong, you can... deal with the situation,” she explained. “And continue on with the original plan.”

Reiner's face went cold for a moment. Right. The plan. There were times he had to remind himself of who he was and who he worked for. There were times he forgot... “...alright,” he murmured, before stepping forward to volunteer himself.

* * *

“Why are we doing this again?” Jean asked aloud as they ran along the walls. A cool breeze was starting to pass over them. In the west, the sun began to sink low into the sky. Even with all that had happened, though, Eren didn't feel tired just yet.

Eren rolled his eyes at him. “Hey, last I checked, you had to volunteer for this, asshole.” 

Jean sneered at Eren. “I don't want to lose my home. I just want to know why you think this plan will work.”

“It's Armin's plan,” Eren said. “And it will work. Don't lie, you think it will too, or else you wouldn't have put enough hope into it to help out.”

Jean turned away, not saying anything. “He's hopeless,” Eren mumbled, shaking his head. At last he could revel in the fact that he had been right. Ha. With all the failure he had experienced that day, Eren had to take his victories where he could get them.

Armin swallowed once more. “There's some titans there, let's get their attention.” That, of course, was Eren's cue to silently order the titans to follow them. They already had a few after them, but the soldiers were sure to stay out of reach.

By the time the boulder came into view, they had a crowd of about a dozen or more titans with them. Eren abandoned the wall in favour of the uneven rooftops, not caring if anyone else came with him.

“Alright,” he murmured to himself. He ran towards the building, latching onto it with his gear, before pulling himself on top of it. Eren could see other soldiers in the corner of his vision, but none moved to join him on the boulder other than Armin and Mikasa. “We'll have to get off when they start moving it,” he whispered. The stone was dark, bathed in golden light from the sun. Would the titans be able to move it?

Eren stared down at the titans. He hoped so. “You sure this plan's gonna work?” he said to Armin, loudly. It was only to throw off suspicion. 

Armin nodded, watching the beasts as well. “It might fail but... I'm praying it won't.”

Eren smiled a little. “That's good,” he said. Now was the time. Hey, he thought, push this boulder to the gate, all of you.

The titans approached them slowly. Eren felt rock beneath his feet abruptly jerk backwards. “That's our cue to get off this thing,” he said, re-balancing himself. He moved off it, landing on a roof with a considerable lack of skill but hey, he had done it.

“Now what?” Jean asked, glancing around at those with them.

Reiner began to move forward, towards the gate. “I guess we try to get them to go the right way,” he mused. “And kill any titans that stray into the path.”

“Yes! Reiner's got the right idea,” Armin said, lagging behind a bit with Eren. Eren himself kept giving cautious glances to the titans. Come on... So long as nothing went wrong, they'd be fine. 

“Jean! Titan on your right!” Reiner called out. Jean reacted fast, managing to successfully kill it.

“Ugh,” he muttered, the blood evaporating off him. “I still really hate fighting titans.”

Eren's breath caught in his throat. “We're almost there!” he cried. His heartbeat was erratic now. Yes... Humanity's first victory was at hand.

Mikasa dealt with a titan on his left, before returning to Eren's side. “It's all clear. Marco, Jean, and Reiner all did well at keeping the other titans from causing any harm,” she told him.

They all stopped several metres from the destroyed gate to watch. For Eren, time seemed to slow down as the boulder inched towards it. Steam billowed off the titans - after all, pushing such a heavy hunk of stone was hard on them. Their bones snapped against the pressure, flesh tearing with a sick sound. Even if Eren wanted to, he couldn't force himself to look away. 

Any second now... The light from the hole began to disappear. Eren was vaguely reminded of an eclipse he had watched many years ago. It was beautiful. The sound of stone meeting stone was heaven to Eren's ears. “We did it,” he said, voice surprisingly soft for him. “You did it,” he continued, putting a hand on Armin's shoulder.

“No, I-” Armin cut himself off with a gasp. Several titans below, who had began to disperse from the group, soon fell onto the ground as nothing more than steaming corpses. 

Some people landed beside them. The emblems on their cloaks told Eren all he needed to know – the Scouting Legion. The ones who had, in fact, gone on an expedition earlier that day. Which meant... His eyes went to the short man with black hair off to his side, who was cleaning blood off the sword. Levi. 

“Are you brats alright?” the man asked, tone harsh but the concern was still there. 

Eren nodded at him. “Uh, yeah, I think so.” He glanced around, confirming no one had gotten eaten while he was distracted during the mission. Good. He'd hate himself forever if someone had died while he was watching the titans throughout. 

Levi gave a hum and turned away. 

A high pitched sound came from another Scouting Legion member. “Look at that! Were the titans the one who moved it?” they asked, turning towards them with a gleeful look. Eren raised an eyebrow. This person was insane, he decided then.

“Yeah,” Jean replied nonchalantly, but he seemed a little uncomfortable. “It was pretty fucking weird.”

“Of course you'd love this, Hanji,” Levi muttered, clearly unimpressed - at least with Hanji. The look he was giving the boulder, though, showed hints of curiosity. 

“And why not? This is... pretty amazing. I'll have to ask for more details later,” they sighed, pouting slightly. “For now, we should get these trainees back over the wall and work on dealing with the titans,” Hanji said. “I can't wait to get my hands on one of them!”

* * *

Erwin walked along the walls of Trost silently. He surveyed the bloodied town below, taking note of how few bodies there appeared to be. Clean up would be a lot easier, at the very least. Heh. How heartless was he, to see the fallen and think of that? No, he did feel a sadness at the loss, but there was nothing to be done now. They're sacrifice had been worth it, after all. Humanity had won it's first battle. It felt good, better than Erwin could have dreamed. 

That didn't mean there wasn't still much to do.

Hanji joined him at his side not long after. They managed to keep up with his stride, even with the height difference.“Hey, Commander. Did you talk with Pixis?” they asked.

Erwin nodded, leaving his thoughts behind for a moment. He'd have plenty of time to think later. “Yes, I did. I have a feeling you did as well, Hanji.”

“Yep!” Hanji replied. “And I prodded the trainee's a little. It's pretty fascinating to hear about how odd the titans were acting. I mean...” They ran a hand through their tangled ponytail. “Cannibalism between titans, ignoring humans... and then of course there was the boulder.”

Erwin glanced up at the sky. “It's very interesting,” he said sincerely. “I wonder if there's a connection... According to Pixis, one trainee who got close to the Colossal Titan said it showed signs of being able to plan and think.”

Hanji grinned, looking far too giddy as they spoke. “Yeah, I heard about that too. It's worrying, don't get me wrong, but it opens up so many possibilities!” They paused for a long moment. “It also makes me think of Ilse's diary, with the titan that spoke to her.”

Erwin hummed a little. That was true. There was still so much they didn't know, and so much they learned each day. At least his life was full of surprises. “That's what I was thinking of too. What troubles me the most, though, is the titans moving the boulder. Pixis explained the plan to me but to me it seems like it was based on nothing but a vision without any real support. Yet, it worked.”

“...yeah, that was bothering me too,” they murmured, placing a hand on their chin. “We'll have to be on our toes.”

Erwin nodded in agreement. “It seems we'll have to be. With both the titans and the new trainees.”

“... you're not trying to suggest...?” 

“Maybe I am,” he said coolly. “It could just be titans being titans, but I am not going to ignore any chance of figuring out what they were acting off, even if that means chasing something that sounds like a fantasy.”

Hanji considered this. “So, in short, you aren't shutting out the idea that a human could have influenced this more than someone thought?” 

“Yes. I don't think it's very likely, but it's one of the few explanation I can think of, as farfetched as it is,” he explained, giving a little shrug. Erwin was going off a hunch for this, of course. He wasn't even sure if he truly believed it himself.

Hanji stopped walked and turned on their heel to face Trost. “...I really want to know more about titans, especially now with how odd they're acting and the possibility of human-like thought,” they began as a wind blew through their hair, “but part of me is afraid I won't like what I'll learn.”

Erwin smiled as he continued to walk. “I think we all are. But it's-”

“It's best that we don't let our fears control us,” Levi interjected, strolling towards them. Hanji and Erwin both looked over at him, but said nothing until he was at their sides. 

“Yes,” Erwin replied. “It's all just theory right now. Though, while everyone's shaken and confused by the day's events, I have a feeling there will be investigations come dawn.” He paused, taking the moment of silence to turn to face Trost as well. “Regardless, we ought to get down there to deal with whats left of the titans before night falls for good.” With that, he jumped from the walls with Levi and Hanji not too far behind him.


	6. New Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back finally! It's been awhile, sorry... I posted this awhile back on the kinkmeme but there was a lot of dumb mistakes that I've since fixed!
> 
> I've been out of school for a little bit now (finished with a 95.5% average whoo!). With school over, my main hiatus is over. However this took awhile to edit for ao3 and the next part is taking a bit too, due to events in my life. Just a lot of planned and unplanned things. I lost power for 5 days to boot.
> 
> That said, I'm hoping to get more chapters done this summer for sure! Thank you for your support and patience, and enjoy!

When his first chance came, Eren went to see his mother. Clean-up was done in shifts, which gave him time to burn when off duty. Trost was slowly recovering, and it seemed that perhaps it would be back to its old self in due time.

“I saw her with Hannes the other day,” Mikasa said as they made their way through the winding streets. Carla was apparently staying with Hannes, in his home just outside of Trost. She had been seen by a doctor but other than that they knew little about her current condition. “She didn't seem well.”

Armin glanced at their grim faces. “I'm... I'm sure she's gotten better since. Recovered from the shock of it happening all over again,” he said, clearly trying to help.

Mikasa gave a tiny smile. “...I suppose you're right, Armin. Thank you.” She paused. “You seem in higher hopes than usual.”

Armin looked sheepish. He rubbed at his arm. “Erm... I dunno, I guess I'm just glad things worked out because of you guys.”

Eren shook his head. Armin's confidence did seem to have improved, but that didn't mean he had gotten rid of all his self esteem problems. He had a long way to go, and it frustrated Eren to no end. Eren just wished that Armin could see what kind of a wonderful, intelligent person he was at his best. “You mean, because of you. With some help from us. I mean, we'd be dead, probably, without you.”

Armin glanced away, but Eren saw the slightest hint of a smile on his lips. He mumbled what could have been a 'thank you' as they reached Hannes's house.

Mikasa rapped her fist on the door. Hannes should have been home now, off duty much like they were.

“Coming!” Hannes called. Several loud sounds could be heard, before Hannes managed to make it to the door. “Sorry. House is a bit of a mess.”

Eren considered that an understatement as they walked in. The place was no pigsty, sure, but it was clear that it was far too small for everything Hannes had. Not that it was saying much, considering how claustrophobic the house made Eren.

Eren frowned, glancing at Hannes for a moment. The man kept giving him weird looks. Huh.

“...She's this way,” Hannes said, averting his gaze. He lead them through the mess to the only bedroom. Carla was laying on the bed. A thin, threadbare blanket laid on her legs. She turned, smiling at the sight of the four of them as they entered.

The first thing Eren noted was how tired she looked, like she hadn't slept in a long time. It was possible she hadn't. The gray in her hair had worsened since he last time he saw her, back during a holiday.

“Eren...” she murmured, motioning weakly for them to come over. Eren knelt down beside the bed, giving Carla a hug. “You've grown so much...”

“Yeah. We graduated, finally. Mikasa got 1st in the class and I got 5th. Armin didn't place but he did amazing on the written exam,” Eren said, playing idly with Carla's ponytail.

His mother gave a tired smile. “That's good to hear. I'm proud of you all.” Eren noted that Armin and Mikasa had since moved closer. Mikasa, too, went to hug her foster mother. “All three of you,” Carla continued. “I hope this means you'll keep on coming back to see me.” By that, she meant she was hoping they'd manage to escape death again and again. Death was not an easy topic for Carla to speak of, Eren figured, especially if it involved them.

“Of course we will,” Eren said, holding Carla's hand. “I promise you, we won't let you suffer anymore.” He meant it, he really did. Once the titans were gone, things would be better. Not perfect, but better. And Carla would no longer have to worry about the chance of them getting eaten. “We won't let you down.”

“I know,” Carla replied, tears forming in her eyes. “I know. I always have. But I am still your mother, so I still worry.” Carla ran her hand through Eren's hair as she spoke, her voice soothing to his ears. “Please try not to do anything reckless.”

Eren glanced over at Mikasa and Armin for a moment. Did everyone think he was like that? Well... maybe there was _a little_ truth about it. Eren sighed, saying “I'll try, alright?”

Carla smiled, pulling her hand away from him.“Thank you.” Her eyes slipped shut.

Hannes ushered them out, mumbling about how Carla slept a lot lately, despite how it looked like the opposite was true. “She hasn't been feeling well, that's all,” he said.

Carla cracked open her eyes. “Your farther would be proud,” she murmured, barely loud enough for them to hear.

Eren bristled at the mention of his dad. He had... a strange vision about him once. He couldn't remember much of it. Had it been a memory? The key around his neck suddenly felt far too cold against his skin. Which reminded him...

After thanking Hannes, they made their way back out onto the streets of Trost. Eren turned to Armin and Mikasa. “We need to go back to Shiganshina sometime. I think I remembered something.”

Armin and Mikasa stole a glance at each other. “Why?” Armin asked. “That's a really dangerous place to go, unless you're thinking...”

“Well, if we seal the hole, we can get all of Wall Maria back with time,” Eren began, “but that's not why I brought it up. I... I can't remember much, but... Mikasa, do you remember that key dad had?”

Mikasa thought for a moment. “Yes. The one to the basement, right?” she asked.

Eren nodded in reply. “I think he gave it to me. I...” he tugged at the string around his neck. “Right here.”

Mikasa looked surprised and a little disheartened. “When did he do that?” she asked. “I mean... we never... he left and...”

“I wish I could tell you. I'm sorry, Mikasa,” Eren murmured. He looked away from her, feeling the smallest amount of guilt bubble up inside him. She had mourned for Grisha just like he had, all those years ago. They considered their father 'missing' but really, after all that had happened, it seemed it was likely he was dead. Was he? Eren wished he knew.

Mikasa shook her head, her face slipping back into a stoic look. “Don't be.”

Armin spoke up then. “I was wondering what that was. I mean... I had seen it before but I didn't know. I assumed it must have been some kind of memento, but you never really talked about it.”

Eren rubbed at his neck. “Yeah... It's kind of weird. I think there's something in the basement he wanted me to see. He said I could see it when he came back from his trip to the inner walls, but we all know what happened.”

It was Armin's turn to look grim. “Yeah... I guess we'll just have to find out on our then. But... Don't get your hopes up to much, Eren. It's deep in Titan territory. We might not get that far in our life time.”

“You do know who you're talking to, right, Armin? Titans aren't a problem for me,” Eren boasted. “We'll get there, even if we have to desert the Scouting Legion in the process. I mean.... I'd prefer not to but if it gets it done, we're doing it.”

Armin sighed. “I was afraid you'd think of something like that. There's no way to convince you otherwise, is there?”

“Of course not,” Eren replied. They lapsed into an uneasy silence. A large group of people passed them, and their words carried over to Eren's ears. He heard mentions of titans, and the word rogue at least once. But what intrigued him the most was the talk of the Military Police. Apparently they were in Trost. Why? Sure, there was usually MP stationed to work with the Garrison but normally they didn't get overly involved in titans.

Eren had been eavesdropping, though. Maybe he was just missing something important. It could have been two different conversations after all.

“...Aren't you a little curious as to what's in there, Armin?” Mikasa asked softly, snapping Eren out of his thoughts. His eyes drifted to the blond in question.

Armin didn't reply right away. “...Yeah,” he finally admitted, “I am.”

* * *

“How's the investigation going, Hanji?” Erwin asked, glancing around the ruins of Trost. Before him stood two titans who towered over those around them. Or, at least, one of them did, as the other was pinned to the ground. Not that the beast seemed to mind.

Hanji was watching them curiously for a moment. They turned to face Erwin. “Well, I've been more focused in research on the titans, of course, but... We've asked around and such. I got the name of the trainee who suggested the plan that sealed the gate.”

Erwin nodded. “I see. We'll have to get into contact with him or her. It's very likely that they may know something, if there is something up.” His eyes swept over Hanji's tense frame. “And?”

Hanji sighed as they moved away from the titans, handing Moblit their journal. “We ran into members of the Military Police. Apparently they were ordered to do a similar investigation. They wouldn't say who ordered it, however, but it's probably someone high up.”

Erwin frowned as he considered this. “But why would they get involved in these matters?”

Hanji gave a lopsided grin. “That's what I said,” they began, “but they didn't give me a clear answer. If anything, this just proves that there's more to this than just titans acting weird, don't you think?”

Erwin glanced over at the titans for a moment. He folded his hands neatly in front of him. “It's all possible. Perhaps I will stop by and pay a visit to an old friend from training,” he replied, before turning to leave. “Good luck with your research Hanji. I hope to see good progress.”

“Thank you, Commander,” Hanji called, before they headed back to Moblit.

“And remember,” Erwin called back after a moment's thought, “we get the new recruits soon!”

* * *

Cleaning the city of Trost had been of the utmost importance. However, once that venture was done, they surviving trainees of the 104th squad were finally able to finish what they had started – and that meant choosing their respective military branches.

“You look like you're deep in thought, Jean,” Marco said softly. His arm was bandaged. It had gotten broken at some point, but he had barely noticed until the adrenaline left his system. Now, though, the pain was dulled with their simple medicines. The doctors had warned him that it had gotten infected and if it didn't get better, they'd have to cut it off before the infection killed him. Marco wasn't worried, however. It didn't seem all that bad, after all. He was sure he had other wounds that would scar, marring his face much like his freckles.

Oh well. They looked cool at least.

Jean turned to him, sighing. “I... it's dumb,” he replied, shaking his head.

Marco gave an airy chuckle. “I doubt that. It seems to be eating at you and it's worrying me.”

Jean rubbed at some peach fuzz on his chin. They really were getting older, weren't they? It seemed like Jean had only been twelve a month ago. “Well,” Jean began slowly, “I've been having second thoughts. I mean, part of me still wants to join the Military Police – it was my dream, after all. But on the other hand... after what happened... I wonder if I'll be of more use with the Scouting Legion.” He sighed heavily. “I just don't know what to do.”

Marco drank this in. “I wish I could help, but that is a choice only you can make. To be honest, I'm kind of torn myself now too. But... maybe there's still something we can do, you know? In the Military Police? I just... can't help but shake this feeling that there's going to be dark times ahead.”

Jean snorted at Marco's words. “I think Wall Rose almost falling is a big tip off,” he said dryly.

Marco chuckled himself. “I guess it does sound stupid to say that after all that's happened, eh? But... I still can't shake the feeling that this is only the beginning.” Marco just shook his head. “I'm probably just being too paranoid.”

Jean nodded, glancing around. “Have you seen Armin and Mikasa?” he asked.

“No, but they're probably with Eren,” Marco replied, leaning against the wall. The stones were cool against his back. “They may be mourning the dead, or going to see their mother like you did earlier. Why do you ask?”

Jean looked away, cheeks lightly dusted pink. “No real reason,” he said a bit too fast. “I mean... we all know they're gonna follow Eren into the Scouting Legion, right? I just wanted to say goodbye to them. After all, they could be dead within a month.”

“You really think Mikasa would die that fast?” Marco asked, arching an eyebrow.

Jean cracked a smile. “I suppose not. But Armin and Eren? Probably.”

“They have Mikasa watching their backs.”

“Mikasa can't protect people from their own stupidity,” Jean retorted.

Marco blinked before giving a roll of his eyes. “I suppose not.”

They soon found themselves in a comfortable silence. Fireflies dotted the air around them, glow barely visible in the fading light. The sunset was a grand one that day – full of brilliant reds, pinks, and oranges. A beautiful sight that contrasted with the dull grey of the walls.

“I think I am going to join the Military Police,” Jean said finally. There was a waver of uncertainty in his words, not matter how hard he tried to mask it with false confidence. Marco didn't dare point this out, because as he gave his agreement – as he too decided he was going to go through with it – his voice was no different.

Jean smiled at him. This time Marco was almost fooled. “Well, I guess we'll working together. Living in luxury, away from all of _this_. It'll be nice.”

Marco nodded slowly. “Yeah. I hope it will be.”

* * *

 

“What a rousing speech,” Connie muttered as they disbanded to go to bed. One last night in the trainee barracks, and then it was off to their new positions in the military. Of course, they had thought their last night had come long ago – or at least, it felt like that long.

“Commander Erwin just didn't want to sugarcoat the fact that we're all rushing to die,” Ymir said, giving Connie a look. “Duh.”

Sasha sighed, rubbing her hands along her arms. “I just.... Really regret this choice now.”

“Too bad,” Ymir replied.

“Ymir! Stop!” Krista cried. She whirled around to face the other girl, and for a moment her hair reminded Ymir of a bright halo. Heh.

“I'm just saying that there's no point in regretting it now. She made her choice to stay, and she has to deal with it,” Ymir explained, voice smooth. “That's how the world works, Krista.”

Krista frowned, which admittedly didn't take away from her adorableness, but said nothing else for a moment. “...I guess, but it doesn't mean you have to be so rude,” she replied, sounding defeated. Ymir smirked in victory.

Ymir's smile slipped off her face when she noted a presence near her. Her gaze fell onto Eren and his friends, mere metres from her. They seemed the least shaken out of any of them. Though going by expressions alone, it seemed Erwin's speech affected them too.

Still, there was something about Eren that rubbed Ymir the wrong way, even if they rarely ever interacted. Eren preferred the company of his sister, Armin, and people like Reiner or Annie. Not her. Hell, Ymir was pretty sure Eren didn't even like _Krista_ of all people. Unless... no, she wasn't sure if he knew about that little secret Krista was keeping under lock and key. Eren was kind of an idiot, and she doubted he could hide something like that so easily. He really seemed to be the kind of guy who wore his heart on his sleeve.

Ymir's mind drifted to Trost. That voice that had been in her head... she hadn't experienced anything like that before. At least, nothing she remembered vividly. Maybe she had once upon a time, but those days were behind her. All that was left of them was vague memories, ones she didn't worry too much about. She knew she couldn't dwell on the past if she was to keep on moving forward.

But, alas, that doesn't always mean the past is unimportant.

That said, what bothered her the most was how familiar the voice sounded. She hadn't been able to place it at first, but... She had stayed close to Eren and his group once they had joined up with the other squads. It had to be him, as much as she found it hard to believe. Eren's voice was too similar to it. The only real difference was that it sounded more distant and almost... dream like in her mind.

Ymir didn't know how much Eren knew, but of course, it never hurt to find out. If he knew too much, well, she'd have to watch her back.

Ymir waited until the group began to scatter more, drifting apart from each other to turn in for bed. Armin and Mikasa were out of sight now. It was the best time to pounce on her prey.

“Hey, Jaeger,” she said, not letting her tone show any emotion. Eren turned to her, looking confused. Dear god, she hoped the kid at least reconsigned her.

“Uh, yeah...?” he trailed off, clearly trying to place a name to a face. Or, perhaps, a last name. It was sad that Ymir had nothing to give him.

“Just Ymir's fine,” she replied gruffly, motioning for him to follow. “We need to talk.”

Eren looked lost, but merely went with her. Huh. More trusting than she had assumed he'd be. “What is it?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“What do you know?” Simple, and to the point. Not well thought out, though.

Eren blinked at her. “About what?” he replied, his annoyance showing. Great. Not going well as she had planned, but really, she was never good at that. Plans just weren't her thing.

“You know what I mean,” Ymir hissed, not sure how to approach this. If he didn't know her secret, she didn't want it to slip. But if he did know? She didn't want to think about it, at least, not until she knew he was no real threat to her.

“I can't say I do. Are we done here, or are you going to continue being cryptic?” Eren asked. Ymir frowned, noting that as trusting as he had seemed, he was getting testy. Then again, Eren wasn't exactly known for his patience.

“About all of this. Everything that has happened lately,” she clarified.

Eren's whole body tensed. He stepped back, pressing against the side of the building. “What are you talking about?” There was a hint of nervousness in his voice. Ymir's lips twitched. Now she was getting places.

“I think you know, don't you? Exactly what I'm getting at,” Ymir replied.

“Okay... if we're on the same page - and I don't think we are...” Eren let out some anxious laughter before continuing. “But let's assume we are. How would you know that I know anything?”

Ymir clenched her jaw. Did he know? Was he testing her for something? He clearly wanted a confession, but she wasn't sure why. To confirm his fears, or a show of trust? Or to just figure out what the hell she was talking about? Suddenly Ymir wasn't sure this had been a good idea.

The smell of ozone hung in the air, warning of a thunderstorm that would not come.

“Tell me.... What made you confront me like this?” he asked. Ymir knew why. She wanted answers. About herself, and about Eren. Perhaps to see if he also knew about Historia. But no answer spilled from her lips.

Eren's face darkened. In a flash, he grabbed Ymir's hand, his grip tight. “Explain to me. Now. Do you know something about the titans that I don't or what?” Titans. They hadn't been talking about titans, not technically. At least he stopped playing dumb then, if he was going to at least hint at his abilities. She hoped that was it, anyways. He had always seemed a little obsessive from what little she saw of him.

Ymir tried to pull her hand away. Eren's nails dug into her skin, luckily not hard enough to draw blood. She sucked in air through her teeth. “All I'm saying is,” she began, “that things aren't always what they seem. And you should be careful lest you get in over your head.”

“Oh, I think you have a lot more to say,” Eren said. His tone would have send chills down her spine if she had been anyone but her.

“Maybe you should back off!” Ymir snapped, getting ready to knock Eren to his feet. He may have been one of the best at hand-to-hand but that didn't mean Ymir didn't know what she was doing. There was more to her than people saw. Though, considering what a terrible person she was, perhaps it was best they didn't see more.

“Well maybe-” Eren was cut off mid yell as Historia – or rather, Krista as she liked to be called – had come back to see what was going on.

“Erm...” she murmured, looking away meekly. “I was just wondering were Ymir went. We share a bunk and all and I got worried and, I'm sorry I bothered you in the middle of this I... Should probably go. I mean, unless you need help.”

Eren seemed to calm some. “It's fine. Thank you, though,” he said brusquely. Eren turned on his heel. He gave a sparing glance to Ymir, and then he was gone. Ymir snorted a little. Yeah. That hadn't gone well. She knew this wouldn't be the last she'd hear of him. It never hurt to have a powerful ally, but she didn't think Eren and her would mesh well. Not that anyone really did.

She turned to Krista. “Yeah, it's fine. No big deal.”

Krista nodded, before leading her along. “I grabbed a lantern just in case,” she explained, motioning to the one she carried. “I was worried you had gotten lost in the dark or something!”

Ymir blew hair out of her face. “You do that once, and no one ever forgets,” she grumbled. Krista giggled, and for a fleeting moment Ymir felt her heart flutter.

Back at the girls barracks, they silently climbed into their bunks. It was quiet, with only the sounds of breathing and the crickets outside.

After a moment, Krista turned to Ymir. Her blankets were long abandoned. The summer night air just made them torture. “I, uh... heard yelling earlier. Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Ymir said gruffly as she climbed into bed. “Just fine.” Sleep overcame her soon enough.

* * *

Eren felt like someone dropped a titan on him. He hadn't slept well the night before. In fact, he had been awake most of the night. Between what Ymir had said and the lingering fear of his powers being exposed, he had been far too anxious. And too pissed. Sleep only found him when it was too much energy to keep his eyes open.

Now if only his sleep deprivation could explain why someone was smelling his hair.

Eren tried to move away from the man, one who was clearly a veteran of the Scouting Legion. The man merely smirked at him, before walking away to join the other squad leaders.

Eren gave a shiver. Okay. That had been seriously creepy. He was almost regretting this choice. Maybe the rumours he had were true: the Scouting Legion was full of weirdos.

At the very least, he had made it. Eren worked hard to get into the Scouting Legion, real hard. He was here now, and as much as his body ached, he was going to make the best of it.

They had been given their new uniforms when the entered the grounds of their HQ. Eren's eyes glossed over the insignia embroidered into the jacket. It was difficult to believe he was wearing it after all these years. It felt as if the wings on his back were real.

He was going to do good, he knew it. With time, the titans would no longer be a threat to humanity, and Eren's thirst for revenge would yield. On that day he'd feel lighter than air. On that day his fears and hardships would be no more. On that day those he cared about would be safe. First, though, he'd just have to brave through the eccentricities of his fellow soldiers.

“Are you Cadet Jaeger?” one of the squad leaders asked, coming over. The other new trainees were scattered around the grounds, with the squad leaders congregating around each other in the centre.

“Yeah, I am... erm,” he paused, looking over the person in front of him. They were the same height as him, with long dark hair tied back in a hightail. They seemed familiar – may be he saw them talking to the famous Levi in the past? - but he couldn't place a name. Nor a gender, it seemed. It didn't really matter all that much, at least to him, but he didn't want to accidentally call them the wrong thing. It didn't do good for first impressions.

They seemed to notice. “I'm fine with anything, Jaeger, don't worry,” they told them. It was clear that topic came up a lot with them. They flashed a reassuring smile before leading Eren towards another group of people. Eren was relieved to see that Armin was there. “You're in my squad. My name's Hanji Zoe. Do you know Armin Arlert? I assume so, but...”

“Yeah, he's my best friend,” Eren answered, smiling at the blond.

“Ah. Hopefully that means you'll work good together. You did pretty well rank wise, so I'm hoping you'll be a fine addition to my team. You also showed a strong interest in titans, hence why I picked you.” Before Eren could say anything, Hanji launched into an explanation. “I'm the head of our titan research here in the Legion. I'm actually the one that pushed for more in-depth ways of doing this, in fact, such as capturing titans for various reasons. And having minds eager for more knowledge on our enemy is always a good thing to have. Which is also why I choice Arlert here. He's shown high intelligence and critical thinking in his written work during training.” They paused. “He's also shown phenomenal skill in strategy. In fact, I was told he helped make the plan that won Trost back.”

Eren nodded, flashing a 'I'm proud of you and you should be too' smile at Armin. Armin just smiled ever so slightly. Eren glanced around, trying to figure out where the rest of the 104th had been placed. “Where's Mikasa Ackerman? Do you know?”

Hanji blinked. “The name sounds familiar...”

“Oh, her?” another member of the Legion said, “She was put in Levi's squad due to her strong performance in training. There's already talk about that after a few years of experience, she's going to surpass Levi as Humanity's Strongest. Why do you want to know, though? Is she your girlfriend?”

Eren's face flushed a little. “No! She's my sister.”

The other man looked embarrassed, before stalking off. Hanji rolled their eyes, looking over something on their clipboard. “Don't mind Oluo. He likes to antagonize new recruits occasionally. But he's not that bad, really.”

“Right,” Eren said, dragging out the word for longer than necessary. “So... What kind of stuff have you learned about the titans?” he asked, unsure why the older members of Hanji's squad – of his squad, now – were giving him a strange look.

Hanji's eyes glinted from behind their glasses. “Well, I'm glad you asked! You and Armin can follow me, since I doubt the rest of my crew want to be lectured on it all over again,” they said cheerfully. The other soldiers looked immensely relieved.

Eren ignored them as he and Armin did as they were told. “Well,” Hanji began, “my interest in titans began after I joined the Legion. You see, I used to utterly hate them and wanted nothing more than to kill every titan I saw.”

Armin turned to Eren, mouthing 'that sounds familiar'. Eren just lightly punched him in return.

Hanji didn't seem to notice their antics.“But one day, when I had decapitated a titan, I noticed it's head was far too light. I managed to kick it clean off its shoulders with no problem! I tried it again recently with a titan's arm. I could lift it up with ease. For whatever reason, titans are incredibly light for their size.” That was certainly interesting. It definitely explained their speed.

Hanji just kept on going. It seemed the reason their assistance had been so worried was because Hanji just did not shut up. Eren drank in the barrage of information with only a twinge of regret.

Every so often his mind would drift, and he'd find himself staring at the birds or the other recruits. He couldn't see Annie, Jean, nor Marco, but that was no surprise. What was a surprise was that Bertholdt and Reiner had joined up, albeit in different squads. Sasha and Connie were together with the man who liked to smell people along with Reiner, while Bertholdt looked uncomfortable next to Ymir and Historia. He was pretty sure their squad leader was named Nanaba, or something like that. Banana?

“And of course,” Hanji continued, “we've been currently looking at the titans we caught in Trost. We're especially curious about these 'Rogue' titans that everyone involved in the campaign spoke of.” Eren tensed at the mention of that. Great. The rumours and talk about the Rogues had been bad enough but... If he was honest with himself, he had seen this coming. Of course the Legion would want to investigate this. Armin shot Eren a look, but neither of them dared to speak.

“I don't know what this means for humanity yet. At Trost... it must have been amazing, right? You two may just be alive because of them. I mean, it could be a fluke but it could also be a blessing,” they said, taking in a deep breath. “Really, you need to watch these kinds of situations. If you don't pay attention to the smallest of things... well, you might notice the danger it poses far too late. And then we just get another Shiganshina.” Hanji paused, suddenly stopping. “Hey, aren't you two from Shiganshina?

Eren felt his heart beat erratically. Hanji knew they had been at both places. Were they onto something? They seemed intelligent. It didn't seem likely but what if... they started to wonder if Eren had anything to do with anything of this? He swallowed thickly. No. He was just panicking now. This wasn't good.

“I'm sorry,” Hanji finally said, turning to face them. “I shouldn't have brought that up in the first place. It's probably still a sore wound.”

Eren blinked. At the very least, their words calmed him. “It's...”

“It's fine, but thank you for your concern,” Armin replied. “It's not fun to talk about but...”

“Sometimes you need to,” Eren finished.

Hanji grinned at them. “That's good to hear! Well, I guess we should continue with our talk about what we've learned about the titans so far!” Eren bit back a groan. Yeah... this was going to be a long day, wasn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't expect the YumiKuri to go far. They arent the main characters of this, though I do plan for Ymir to have more scenes, and I didn't want this to be too shippy. 
> 
> Tbh I didn't even realise it had gotten shippy until afterwards, oops... It kind of got away from me. But, according to a Attack on Titan guidebook (and from what Im told, the official site), Ymir's in love with Krista, so I guess I was just thinking about that....


	7. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how long it's been since an update here or on the kinkmeme. My interests tend to be all over the place especially during the summer and I just haven't been in a writing mood. 
> 
> BUT all that said, I do have a timeline I made for myself for major events up to what'll probably be the ending for this fic, so I do have most things planned.

The inner walls was like nothing Jean had ever laid his eyes on before. It was, to put it simply, glorious. Right away it was clear that those who lived here had money, far more than Jean's mother would've ever seen in her whole life. Jean himself, however, longed for that kind of cash and luxury. That's why he had come here, right? Sure, there was stuff about righteousness and protecting the people... But if Jean was being honest with himself, that definitely wasn't why he was there and he didn't bother to hide it. He wasn't someone who needed some noble cause to drive them forward, not like that idiot Jaeger.

The only downside was that the barracks meant that he still had to share a room with at least one other person. While more private than the ones they had during the training, it still seemed like an unneeded annoyance. Marco had tried to assure him he'd probably get stuck with him.

Marco was also likely right.

There was only a few new Military Police members, them included. No surprise considering only the top ten could get in, but it seemed they had lost most of their fellow 104th to the Scouting Legion. Not that Jean really cared. In his mind, he had made the right choice.

Maybe if he told himself that enough he'd shake off the feeling that he hadn't.

Though the biggest surprise hadn't been most of the top ten of the 104th going into the Legion. No, it had been the fact that Bertholdt and Reiner had done that. Annie being there was no real surprise, as she had mentioned her plans occasionally, but _Bertholdt_ and _Reiner_? That outright confused him. They weren't hard to miss, either, so he knew right away that they weren't there.

Weird.

It was probably Eren's fault, in some way. He didn't hide the fact that he looked up to Reiner very well.

Speaking of Eren, much to Jean's dread, he was starting to think he had just met someone who reminded him far too much of that dumb-ass.

“You really think one person can change a whole system?” Jean asked dryly, idly spinning his finger in the cool water of an intricate fountain. They _had_ been on patrol, but after a girl named Hitch had complained about her feet hurting, their squad decided to take a break. It wasn't like anyone was keeping tabs on them.

“Well... no! I mean. I just need to get other people on board, and things will change,” Marlowe replied, looking more and more frustrated. “I'll prove it to you, with time.”

Jean felt as disinterested as Annie looked with _everything_. “Have fun with that,” he muttered. “And enjoy the failure.”

Marlowe didn't grace him with a reply. Hitch gave a small snort. “You're so lucky most of the bigwigs are busy, or else they'd probably tell you off for trying to pull off some kind of coupe.”

“I'm not trying for that, I just want to fix things!” Marlowe snapped, but it wasn't his words Jean was paying attention to.

“What are they busy with, anyways?” Jean asked, curiosity bubbling within him.

“I dunno. They're always so vague about it and I couldn't care less if it doesn't involve me. I think it's something with Trost, ya know?” Hitch replied, giving a weak shrug while she continued to ignore her friend.

A frown made its way onto Jean's face. Trost? Why _Trost_ of all places? He knew it was in shambles from the attack, but that wasn't the kind of thing Military Police usually got involved it, and especially not the higher ups.

“Why would they be in Trost?” Marco asked, echoing Jean's thoughts. His arm was still broken, and didn't seem to be improving.

“Well, there _was_ a titan attack there, duh,” Hitch replied, regarding Marco as though he was stupid.

“Yeah, we know, we were there,” Jean said through clenched teeth. He was more than ready to fight. Hitch hadn't seemed too bad at first, but now she was just getting on his nerves.

Annie came over for a moment. She had been keeping her distance, doing god knows what. “Marco has a point. Why are Military Police getting involved with titan attacks? It's out of place.”

“Maybe some conspiracy came into light, or something,” Hitch said.

“Then why don't we know about it?” Marlowe asked her, frowning

“Because, they all decided you and only you didn't deserve to know,” she replied, teasing him. “Or they're covering it all up.” With those final words, everyone seemed to move onto talking about outlandish conspiracies.

Annie gave a sigh, uninterested again in her fellow soldiers. She had seemed almost... impatient about something the entire day. Hell, she usually only talked to them to ask the time.

Jean felt like he could share her sentiments. His mind drifted back to the conversation. Why was the Military Police in Trost? It wasn't any of his business, he knew, but it was his home town. Why was it mostly higher ups? It didn't make sense.

Jean decided he'd have to do some digging then.

* * *

The evening came swiftly at the Scouting Legion HQ. As it was their first day, nothing of great importance happened. They went over regulations, did some drills, cleaned – the basics. Eren had the privilege to at least listen to Hanji along with Armin. Though, Eren had to argue if it was a privilege. It wasn't that he _wasn't_ interested it was just.... Who liked having to stay up for hours while someone talked their ear off?

At least Eren had gotten some breaks from his squad leader throughout the day. Only problem was that Hanji would sometimes ramble on and even go off topic. They were just that enthusiastic about things, Eren supposed.

And then there was the promise of a visit to Trost soon, to see the titans there. He had also heard rumours of an expedition that was to take place within the next few months. The thought of that got Eren's heart pumping with excitement. He'd get a true taste of combat then. Trost? It was just more practice in his eyes. There wasn't as many variables in place. The expedition would be a true test of everything he had worked for, and he felt ready.

“And we also found out that while titans do have the capabilities to make sounds like we do, most are unable to truly speak a language,” Hanji was saying, their arms moving around as they spoke. Eren put their attention back on them. On the bright side, they seemed to be running out of things to say.

“Most?” Armin repeated, moving a bit closer. His stew seemed long abandoned, so Eren had been challenging himself to see how much food he could steal before Armin noticed – if he ever did.

“Well....” Hanji trailed off for a moment. They folded their hands in front of them, candlelight glinting off their glasses. “When you were likely still in training, we made a discovery when on an expedition. The gist of it is: we found the skeleton of a Legion member in a tree. With her was a journal she had written before her death. She wrote about everything that happened to her, from the massacre of her squad to her hopes of surviving the trek to Wall Rose.”

Hanji paused to idly stir their food. Eren and Armin stayed silent. “But, of course, she never made it. She ran into a single titan on her journey. It was a rather small titan compared to most, but it had a curious ability: it spoke to her. Not very well, but according to this woman it only said a few words. One was a name: Ymir. The titan eventually killed her, but strangely it did not eat her.”

Eren's eyes widened in shock. “Ymir?” he repeated, hands balling into fists. His knuckles went white with his grip. _Ymir_. That wasn't a common name, was it?

A voice drifted through his mind. _All I'm saying is that things aren't always what they seem_. Yeah, it seemed things weren't. Abruptly, Eren got up onto his feet.

“Yeah, that was the name- huh?” Hanji said, blinking. “Are you alright, Jaeger?”

“Yeah, I'm fine,” he grunted, turning to leave. “I just gotta talk to someone.”

Mikasa entered the room then, stopping Eren in his path. She was late, along with other members of Levi's squad.

“Eren!” she called, her food in one hand. Her other grabbed his arm. “What's wrong?”

Eren sighed in frustration. “It's nothing... I'll tell you later, alright?” Mikasa nodded but she began to push him towards the table. Her face showed he had no choice but to do as she wanted.

Hanji had been frowning but the expression was wiped off their face in a flash. “Ah! You must be Mikasa Ackerman,” they said, shaking her hand. Their eyes drifted her face, likely thinking what almost everyone else thought: that Mikasa was unlike anyone they had ever seen before. Eren knew that look a mile away, though Mikasa knew it far, far better.

Mikasa gave a curt nod. “Yes. And you are?”

“Hanji Zoe. I'm a squad leader. Armin and Eren are in my squad in fact,” they answered, letting go of Mikasa's calloused hand.

Mikasa gave yet another nod. She pushed Eren down into a seat, before taking one herself. “I see. I hope you can keep them out of trouble, then.”

Hanji laughed at that. “You sound like their mother.” Well, Eren had to admit that was true. Mikasa had very mother-like qualities.

Mikasa's face flushed pink ever so slightly. She toyed with her scarf for a moment, before turning to Armin and Eren. “I hope things are going well with you two,” she said, going back to her usual self in no time flat.

“ 'Course,” Eren muttered, eyes still scanning the area for Ymir. He needed to get to her as soon as he could. However, it seemed the girl was no where to be seen in mess hall. She was already gone, which was a hindrance. The need for answers was consuming him. He felt like he was going to burst if he didn't to get her any time soon.

“Yeah, Hanji was telling us some very interesting things about titans,” Armin said, finally returning to his food. He didn't seemed to mind the fact that it was cold, or that there was less there than before.

Soon even their voices faded into the background of Eren's mind. He thought over what Ymir had said again, wondering still what she had meant. Whatever it was, though, he didn't like it. When the others seemed lost in conversation – more so Armin and Hanji than Mikasa – Eren slipped off into the starry night.

He had a girl to find.

* * *

 

“Mikasa, are you alright?” Armin asked, voice low. Hanji had gotten into another conversation with Mike, leaving Armin to put his full attention into his friend.

“I'm worried.”

“About?”

“Eren.”

Armin let out a little chuckle. “Nothing new then,” he said. Armin looked up at Eren's retreating back. “Do you know where he's going?”

“No, do you?” Mikasa was watching Eren now as well, but made no move to stop him.

“Well, Hanji mentioned something about Ymir and a titan, which was weird, so maybe he went to go talk to her about that, see if there was a connection,” Armin said slowly. Yeah, that had been odd. But for all he knew, there could be other people named Ymir. Still, it was definitely something he'd have to look into, both for Eren's sake and to quench his thirst for an explanation.

Mikasa frowned at him. “What did they say?”

“They found some old journal that belonged to a member of the Legion who survived outside of the walls on their own for a bit, I think. It mentioned them finding a titan that said the name 'Ymir.'”

Mikasa considered this for a moment. When she spoke next, her voice was hushed. “I see. I'm still worried about him, though. I mean... with everything going on I'm worried that things will come into light. Things we don't want to come into light. I mean, one of the reasons my squad came in late was because we were discussing things about Trost. And it got me thinking about what could happen in the future.”

Armin knew what she meant. There was no question about it. “This might not be the best place to talk about it,” he said. By now people had begun to pile out, ready to turn in for the night.

“I know,” Mikasa replied, “but it's been bothering me for most of the day and making my chest all tight. I'm not just worried about him, either. It's also about you. About all of us. If Eren goes down, we go with him.”

Armin nodded, giving a sad smile. In many ways, that was true. “Yeah, but you wouldn't have it any other way, would you?”

Mikasa returned the smile. “No. But I'd prefer it if it didn't happen. I'm sure you can help with that.”

Armin snorted. Him? No, he'd probably mess up somehow. He didn't think he'd let anything slip, but he wasn't so sure about his actions. What if he got into a situation where Eren ended up getting himself exposed? Thoughts like that ate away at his conscience, along with a million other worries. “...I ... I don't know, Mikasa,” he mumbled.

Mikasa placed a hand over his own. Her hands were calloused from using the blades, but were also so warm to the touch. It was comforting. Armin knew that Mikasa would likely be a good mother. She was often motherly towards them, if sometimes a little blunt. He wouldn't trade her for the world.

“Armin,” she said softly, “I know that you don't see yourself the way we do, but you are greater than you think. You know what you can do. We saw it back home. We saw it in Trost. You saved us when you had the forethought to get Hannes to us, through the chaos and terror of what had happened. You used your intelligence to help us all in Trost to reclaim the gas.” Mikasa paused for a moment, completely taking Armin's hand in her own. “I believe in you. And I know Eren does too. Just... you won't be in this alone, alright?”

Armin could feel some tears pooling in his eyes. He was so... no, he wasn't pathetic. Maybe just a bit overly emotional. He sucked in a deep breath. “Thank you,” he breathed.

Mikasa flashed him a real, sincere smile. His hand slipped away from hers. “Let's go to bed,” she said, “And make sure Eren doesn't get lost.” Armin let himself giggle at that.

* * *

 

“Is now really a good time to be meeting?” Annie asked, rubbing at her tired eyes. It was late. Even titan shifters needed sleep, after all. Plus, she had to sneak out of Wall Sina on her own to meet in the woods by the Scouting Legion's current headquarters. She had “borrowed” a boat to shorten the trip considerably, but it still meant it was unlikely she'd be getting sleep until the day after. Great.

“You did agree to it,” Reiner pointed out, clearly teasing her.

Annie made a noncommittal sound. “Right. So, I suppose we should talk about what to do about Eren, especially since it's incredibly likely that he is the coordinate.” She ran an hand through her hair, which was, for once, loose. She didn't feel the need to put it up in her usual style for such a meeting. “We've already established that we doubt that we can get Eren to come with us willingly at all. So, the simple thing would to lure him some place he would go, knock him out, and then get him over the walls.”

“So, in short,” Bertholdt said, “we're kidnapping him.”

Annie nodded at him, and pretended she didn't notice how much he was sweating. “Basically, yeah, we are. We'll have to be careful about his powers, though.”

Bertholdt blinked at that. “Do you really think he'd use them on us, especially after we leave the walls?”

“Yeah,” Annie replied, “I do. He's an idiot – an act first, think later type of person. I wouldn't put it past him to get us eaten and then realise he doesn't know where he is. But it's not like he doesn't have transportation.”

Bertl sighed a little. Annie figured he was expecting this to be far easier. “We'll have to keep him out cold as much as possible then,” he said. “Or unable to speak.” Annie wasn't sure if his commands were only verbal, but Bertl seemed to think so. Though, perhaps she was merely being overly cautious.

“So, we'll finally be going home again,” Reiner said dreamily. “I'd love to back there. Maybe we should take some of the others to see it, eh, Bertl? Like Connie.”

Annie frowned, before grabbing Bertl's ever sweaty hand. “We need to talk. Alone.” She turned to Reiner. “One moment.” With that, Annie dragged her – in her opinion – far too tall friend away.

“He hasn't been getting any better, has he?” she asked, biting her lip in a rare show of nervousness. It was a little off-topic, she knew, but what Reiner had said made her remember.

Bertl gave a sad sigh. He clasped his hands together. “No,” he told her, voice filled with a sense of dread. “I just. Worry about him. About what's going to happen when we go home. I mean... it's home and all but you know... what they can be like.”

Annie's face was sullen. Oh, she knew. She knew what her father had been like, of course. And that was barely touching on how some of their... other people could be. There was a reason they went on this mission – a few reasons, actually but the major one? They had no other choice. If they were to refuse or fail...

She didn't want to think about the consequences. Sometimes being able to heal life threatening wounds wasn't a blessing. After all, she could still feel pain. They all could.

“We'll deal with that when it comes. Let's just hope his other personality doesn't turn on us. His soldier one, I mean,” Annie said. In truth, both of Reiner's personalities were him. There was no denying that. Merely his soldier and warrior sides took aspects of his personality before he developed more than one, and just filled in some gaps, mostly with the soldier.

If only Reiner hadn't gotten so attached, so full of guilt... But part of her couldn't blame him. Even Bertholdt, soft spoken Bertl, did the same. Hell, even she couldn't lie and say she felt nothing for the people they were hurting. She may have not have been a good person, not at all, but... it didn't mean she enjoyed this. She did it because she had to.

That was all.

She wasn't even really the leader, per say, just more assertive than the others. Even if being the more assertive one in these manners was tiring.

Keeping such a big secret wasn't fun. No part of this was a game. This kind of life was like walking a tight rope – one that never seemed to end, one that where falling meant certain death. There was nothing to enjoy about it.

There was nothing she could do about it, either. So, she continued forward with their instructions. She liked to think about the outcome of this. When she could return home, and finally see what was to be reaped from the seeds they were sowing.

“Well, I guess that's all we need to talk about. We've got our plan. We get Eren alone, and take him back over the walls. No living witnesses. We'll have to wait and see if we can get a good opportunity, alright?” Annie told them, speaking up so Reiner could hear as well. “Remember, we're doing this together. Though, if for whatever reason one of us is caught, we have to continue on no matter what.” It was a sad truth.

The boys nodded to show that they understood. Annie retrieved her lantern from the forest floor. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go to sleep,” she murmured.

Soon, the other two were lost in the dark trees as Annie made her trek towards the Stohess District.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously the further along I get in this, the less canon this will be and the more speculation I'll be using. But this an AU, after all.


	8. Revelations (and Goodbyes)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually posted this onto the kinkmeme a good while back, but I didn't realise I didnt put it here. I haven't been working on this much bc I broke the keyboard on my computer (I have a newer computer now, plus my laptop is fixed!), my own health (I got rly sick + mental health issues), family and friends, and school (I am currently getting ready for exams and literally only posting this bc I was editing the other stuff I wrote for this fic to avoid studying lol)
> 
> I am working on this, as I have about 45k written (including stuff I haven't posted yet and stuff I have) and have an idea of how I want to end this already, sooooooo I am hoping to get it done eventually!
> 
> I'm actually rly behind on the SNK manga right now... orz
> 
> I hope to post more soon, if I can, but I've been really into Tokyo Ghoul and the Heroes of Olympus lately, so.... W'll see! I'lll try my best tho!
> 
> Again, I am determined to finish this even if it takes a lot of time. Which it likely well, especially as it seems to get bigger from my original idea for the prompt the more I go on. I've been reworking the ending as well. This is the most ambitious thing I've ever tried to write. I'm nervous but I am going to try my hardest!
> 
> Thank you for your patience and kind comments, it means a lot to me.

Eren marched out into the darkness of the grounds. The grass was soft, making his footsteps almost inaudible despite his strong strides. Ymir. He needed to find her, and soon. He was itching for answers and this time he wasn't letting them get away.

The sounds of insects and frogs floated through the air, creating a harmony in the warm night air. It was calm, with only a gentle breeze to sway the branches of the trees. The moon was half obscured by clouds, which were scattered about in the sky. It was a nice night, if anything, and Eren half wanted to stop and enjoy it – but he had work to do.

Eren made a beeline for the barracks. His feet hit stone as he made it to the path that ran parallel to the building. An overhang blocked out most of the moonlight, which only graced his skin through the gaps between the pillars holding the structure up.

In the distance, he could see faint candlelight. Eren was taking the long way around, he knew. Eren's goal wasn't efficiency, though, it was to avoid unwanted attention. A path commonly used was not a great spot for the type of conversation he was hoping to have. 

He figured it was unlikely that Ymir had stayed to chat any place – she wasn't much of a social butterfly. So, with her absence in the mess hall, that left the barracks as the most probable place to find her. 

Luckily, it seemed the rules weren't as strict as they had been in training, from what Eren could tell. He managed to slip into the girl's barracks unnoticed, glancing around with a watchful eye. He was mainly looking for Ymir's distinctive hair clip, and her freckles. 

The sooner he found her, the better. Not only would it get him his answers and stop the odd feeling he had thrumming in his chest, it would also mean he could get away from the scrutinizing gaze of the girls who had noticed him there. Eren had never seen so many dirty looks towards him in a long time. But, he knew he was there for a non-perverted reason, and not everyone seemed to really care about his presence. Like Ymir, who's hair clip he caught sight of. The dull glint that shone off it from the light caught his eye easily.

It took time than he would have liked, but he was happy to just have found her. “Ymir,” he said, heading over to her, one hand up in half-assed wave. The girl raised an eyebrow, clearly having not been expecting him of all people to approach her. Her uniform was mostly off, leaving Ymir in a loose shirt and pants along with civilian shoes. Eren was still dressed in his uniform; he had yet to get a chance to change.

“We need to talk,” Eren told her, trying to sound assertive. He reached out to grab her arm. Ymir scowled at him.

“About what?” she asked, trying to wretch her arm away. It reminded Eren of their last meeting. He could only hope it wouldn't end up like that one, full of yelling and a whole lotta confusion.

Eren sighed a bit, explaining to her,“About what we talked about last time... I just want to talk to you outside, without any interruptions.”

Ymir eyed him for a moment, as though she was trying to figure out if he hand any ulterior motives. “Sorry if I'm not big on going to dark places alone with a boy I barely know,” she began, “with no one else around.  _Especially if they don't stop touching me_.”

Eren paused, feeling pangs of guilt. Right. He supposed this wasn't the best way to get a girl to talk to him. He let go of her hand, mumbling what could have been an apology. He swallowed, thinking that hey, at least the guilt left him quickly. “Yeah, I can understand that,” he said, “but I really just want to talk.” 

Ymir seemed to be considering something. “Fine,” she replied curtly. “But tell me what this is about first. Without the vagueness.”

Eren felt like she knew more than he did, really. Regardless, he had no other choice. Even if he did drag her out against her will, it wouldn't make her talk. He made sure to talk in a low voice, not wanting any of the other girls to overhear.“I was talking with my squad leader today, and they happened to mention an... interesting thing. Apparently some girl who was stuck outside the walls ran into a titan that could talk.” As he spoke, he watched Ymir try to hide her reactions to his words. She was good at it, Eren had to admit, but when he mentioned the talking titan  _something_ flashed across her features for a split second. “The girl wrote down what happened in her notebook. It said a name too: Ymir. So, we're going to have a little chat about that.”

Ymir crossed her arms, cocking her hip to one side. “What makes you think I have anything to do with that?” she snapped. She glared, lips pursed together. Eren couldn't tell if she was legitimately angry, or using anger to hide her real emotions.

Eren gave her a disbelieving look. “You confronted me the other night about... I dunno. Weird things. You clearly know things that I don't. How common a name is Ymir anyways?” 

Ymir gritted her teeth. “Fine,” she replied, sighing in defeat. “But you can't keep any secrets either, got it?” 

“Got it.”

They headed outside again, back into the inky blackness of the night. The sounds of the crickets and frogs had not ceased. If anything, Eren was sure it had only intensified.

They stopped to talk in the unused walk way, standing where the moon could reach them easily, bathing them in what little light it could offer. Ymir turned to face him. She was taller than Eren, if only by something as small as two centimetres. He hadn't even noticed before now. 

“So,” she said, crossing her arms yet again. Despite the chill that hung in the air, Ymir didn't seem to have any goosebumps. Odd. 

At least it meant her stance was just body language. Eren was no expert at it, but he could pick up on more obvious movements. Armin had taught him about that before, way back during training, though he wasn't the best at reading it. If anything, he was better at doing it during fights. 

“So,” Eren repeated, mirroring her stance. He, too, wasn't cold, but he also had a jacket. It made sense that he wouldn't be. Not that Eren had ever been a chilly person to begin with. He vaguely remembered someone, likely Armin or Mikasa, joking that his body heat was from the fire in his heart.

Ymir sighed, looking at him with contempt in her eyes. She clearly wasn't fond of him, and was definitely not enjoying being interrogated. “What do you know?” she asked. 

No holding back, Eren thought. “I know there's something up with you and the titans.” A deep breath. He always had his own anxieties – a feeling Eren wasn't used to at all - about telling people ever since Hannes's reaction. But... Ymir wasn't going to get him killed, right? “And I can control them. I don't know how, exactly, but I can.” 

“With your voice?” she asked, clearly not that surprised. A red flag. Eren was starting to feel more and more unsure about this all.

“In a way,” he replied, a frown playing on his lips. Eren moved forward, trying to be intimidating. “Now, tell me why you were being cryptic the other night,” he asked, voice low and dangerous. His hand twitched. He wanted to grab her – he had always been good with his hands, after all – but that would make her less likely to answer his questions. Ymir had made it clear she didn't want him touching her, and he was going to respect that as best he could. 

Ymir smirked, leaning up against the wall. “Wouldn't you like to know,” she said. “I know far more than you seem to, as you said. There's a lot I could say.” 

He was hating how casual she was being about it all. In fact, Eren was starting to get pissed off. If only he hadn't had such a short fuse. He tried to stay calm, but it was hard when he had to deal with people like Ymir. Selfish and crude. He didn't know her well, but he saw enough of her to know. She reminded him of Jean, but aimless, and thus in some ways worse. Though, Jean still grated on his nerves more, but at least he didn't have to deal with that asshole anymore.

Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea... While he knew he was in no danger yet, he still had his fears about his powers being outed. Things would get bloody then, he knew, with his anger involved.

“Though,” she continued, “there's still things I can't say I have the full answer to. What you told me... can't say I know what to say. “ 

Eren's shoulders slumped. A dead end? Or was she trying to hide something? He wasn't sure. “What  _can_  you tell me?” he pressed, not wanting to think that he spilled his secret for  _nothing_.

Ymir paused in thought. She brought a hand up to her chin. “A few things. But, first...” She lunged at him with a speed Eren did not know she possessed. With a vice grip, she grabbed him, throwing him against the wall. Before Eren could even cry out, she was on him. Ymir pressed forward to pin him to it, digging her elbow into him, dangerously close to his solar plexus. It would take no effort for her to move her elbow down to hit him there, winding him and giving her a chance to run while he was in pain. He didn't doubt that Ymir knew this, nor did he doubt that she knew that he knew.

“First things first, not matter what I say, you better not even  _think_  of laying a hand on me,” she warned. Ymir's voice was threatening, and Eren was wondering just what he was about to learn for her to start it off like this. Or, did people just really think his fuse was that short? “Secondly, I won't tell anyone about you're little trick, or anything you share with me tonight,  _if_  you don't tell anyone about what I am about to say. Deal?”

When Eren didn't reply she twisted her elbow into his chest, eliciting a grunt from him. “Deal,” he rasped, figuring it was for the best. He had no other choice but to comply, not without another tactic to keep her from ratting him out.

“Good,” Ymir said, but she did not back off. “What I was talking about last time... well, to begin, I came to you because I had a feeling you could control the titans anyways.” 

Ah, that explained her lack of surprise. But it still left one thing unanswered...“How?” Eren stammered out. 

“I could hear you in my mind,” she began. “I didn't place that it was you right away, because let's face it, I always found you kinda annoyin' with your attitude and all, so I didn't know your voice well because I wouldn't pay you any mind during Training. But now that I have to deal with you blabbing in my ear.. I can say that your voice is far too similar.” 

Eren blinked, trying to find signs of lying. “And how the hell did you hear me?”

Ymir was silent. She licked at her chapped lips, silently debating with herself. “I can turn into a titan,” she said bluntly. 

Eren stood stock still, his mind still trying to process what she had revealed to him. Ymir's words rang through his head, loud and clear, but to him they belonged to a language long since dead. “What?” he breathed.

Ymir gave an unimpressed snort. “Shoulda figured you'd be this stupid,” she muttered. “Guess I have to spell it out to ya. There are people out there, more than just me and I know it, that have a special ability. It's... hard to describe. Basically it let's us turn into titans, with all of the same abilities. Just smarter.”

Eren laughed nervously. No. No, this couldn't be happening. “You can't be serious,” he said, trying to act like the world wasn't spinning. Was it even spinning? He felt lightheaded almost.  _Why?_  

Ymir removed her other hand, which had previously pinned his own down, and raised it to her mouth. She bit into her flesh, hard enough to break the skin with her teeth. The familiar iron smell of blood came with it. Eren winced, as he knew that must have hurt.

Ymir didn't seem that bothered. She brought her hand up towards Eren's face. Curiously, he watched it slowly began to close up. Steam rose up from the wound, steam that Eren had long since associated solely with titans. There was ... was no denying it now. Unless his mind was playing tricks on him, Eren knew that she had to be at least partly telling the truth. After all, no other living creatures possessed the ability to heal like that other than titans.

“You're just lucky that I didn't turn right then,” she muttered, breaking the uneasy silence that had stretched between them. 

Ymir stepped back, finally letting Eren go. “But, as I said, I know I'm not the only one. There are others like me, probably within the walls already, and they may have caught onto you as well. You better watch your back, Jaeger, because I won't be doing it for you.” 

Eren could already feel the paranoia bubbling up inside of him. He tried to suppress it, but the thought that anyone... a civilian on the street, a fellow soldier,  _anyone_  could be a titan in disguise... It was not a comforting thought. If they were smarter than a normal titan, like Ymir claimed, than it was likely he couldn't control them either.

Eren dry swallowed. Now wasn't the time to worry about it. He gave Ymir a weak attempt at a glare. “You could be careful too. There's no telling what could happen to you,” he warned, before thrusting a finger at her. “And I swear to god, if I have reasons to suspect you don't have humanity's best interests at heart.... You  _will_  regret it. I know how to kill more than just normal titans.”

To Eren's surprise, Ymir just laughed. Sincerely  _laughed_. “You're not much different than you were in training,” she remarked.. 

Ymir turned to leave. “And trust me,” she said, glancing over her shoulder, “if I were to do that, you'd be the first one I'd eat.” She gave a shit-eating grin just before she walked out of sight. 

Eren wasn't sure how long he had stood there for. His mind blanked for a moment, overwhelmed by what had just transpired. Not only did someone else, someone he didn't even trust, know about his powers, he had learned a truth that he almost wished he hadn't.

Eren began to make his way to his own bed in the barracks, his mind abuzz. People who could turn into titans... what did this mean? What else did Ymir know? He didn't believe for a second that she had told him everything. He didn't blame her for not wanting to spill it all, though. Not one bit.

Eren felt numb as laid down to go to sleep. He barely remembered even making it to his bed, let alone stripping down. 

People who could turn into titans... Ymir. The talking titan. The intelligence of the Colossal Titan. The titans breaking down the walls. His own powers. The key his dad left him. They were all pieces of a puzzle, one that Eren was desperate to solve if it meant he could be free of the walls and the ever looming threat of being eaten. 

If only he could piece them all together... Some of them were slowly making more sense. If the Colossal titan was like Ymir, then of course it'd be smart... but other questions just rose up along with each answer. Who was the Colossal Titan? 

Eren fell asleep more easily than he had expected, his mind swimming with confusion and thoughts of finally being able to see the ocean once everything was over.

* * *

 

Eren groaned as he pulled the covers up to cover his eyes. Blasted sun... He was definitely more a morning person compared to some of the other soldiers he had come to know, but much like the night before, he felt like he had gotten little sleep. Doing drills was going to be a pain.

His mind was still clouded, distracted by thoughts of what he had learned. Even now it was hard to swallow. It complicated things for sure, but he knew he'd have to keep from being too paranoid. That was never good.

If anything, he was sure he could find  _some way_  to use it to his advantage. Eren wasn't going to just lay down and accept defeat, oh no. Perhaps he could figure out a way to control them? Or... 

“Eren, are you alright? You seem distracted this morning...” Armin asked, while they were getting food. Damn. It showed more than he had thought. 

“Uh, yeah, I just...” Eren trailed off. He itched to tell Armin about Ymir. He wanted to, really, but... could he risk it? Sure, Armin already knew about his powers, but would Ymir tell everyone else? He wouldn't put it past her. After all, if Ymir had told say, Krista, about him, he would consider just announcing her secrets to the world. He wasn't sure if he'd be petty enough to do it, but... with Ymir? She easily could be. He couldn't blame her for that either, as there was a lot at stake for the two of them.

“My mind's just been all over the place lately,” Eren finished, shrugging. 

Armin nodded a little. “Ah. I can understand, I suppose. I'm stressed enough just thinking about what could go wrong.” 

Eren turned to him, a sad smile playing on his lips. “You always fret.” 

“I know.”

“Mikasa's got our back too you know. She'd risk dying if it was to protect us both,” Eren said, voice low. He finished his breakfast, pushing the wooden plate away from him so that he could lean against the table. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Armin said, “but that worries me.”

“I don't think it'll come to that,” Eren replied, glad to have a distraction from his thoughts. Armin seemed too as well, as their conversation soon lulled into less serious topics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Original chapter: February 17th, 2015)
> 
> Edit (March 2017): Originally this Note was its own chapter but I decided to move it here so its out of the way. 
> 
> Hey guys, it if isn't obvious by now this fic is pretty much dead. I'd love to finish this--I had such a fun time writing it, and I really do have a soft spot for it. I wish I could continue, and a part of me wants to, but its very unlikely. 
> 
> I'm in university, what is probably adult ADD has been biting my ass, and Im not only burned out from fandom stuff in general, I also do not really care for SNK at all these days, both due to writing and issues with content (the japanese imperialism stuff). 
> 
> Though, I'm willing to let someone continue this if they wish (just ask first), plus of course anyone is free to take the idea and run with it! 
> 
> Anyways, I just wanted to thank you all for your support, both on here and SNK kinkmeme. I still appreciate it a lot. I really enjoyed working on this and everyone's support made it all the better. Thank you, so so much!! and CompletelyIncomptent (i think thats right), I saw your comment, thank you too.
> 
> In other news, I found this in my drafts for what would have been part of Chapter nine, so I figured i'd share it. If I can find some of my other writing (which I know exists, Im just on a new laptop for school rn) I may post it if people want it. 
> 
> \----
> 
> Levi prided himself in an assortment of different things. One of them was small: the fact that he didn't so much as flinch when someone barged into a room unexpectedly. Though, that was from pure experience, considering how much his colleagues loved to it. Especially Hanji. So it was no surprise when he looked over and saw that his interruption was just that: Hanji. 
> 
> “Oh, the rookies this year are pretty interesting,” Hanji said gleefully. They moved to close the door, which shut with a soft click behind them. It was far more subdued in contrast to their entrance. 
> 
> “That's one way to put it,” Levi said gruffly, tossing a broken belt buckle into the air. He glanced over at Hanji, eyes dancing over their face. The had a sort of odd expression, one that Levi knew far too well. “What's on your mind?” he asked, mostly wishing they'd just spit it out on their own. 
> 
> “Well...I was just thinking, two of the kids in my squad and the Mikasa girl were there both times the colossal titan appeared. They survived against all odds. Interesting, isn't it?” Hanji remarked, giving Levi a glance. “Maybe there's some kind of connection.”
> 
> The room seemed to cool considerably. Levi continued to toss the buckle. “Or,” he began, “those kids just have some rotten luck.” His voice was gruff as he spoke. “Sometimes I see a look in their eyes that shows that they're as messed up as the rest of us who've seen what Titans can do. They just show it more.”
> 
> Hanji sighed, running a hand through their hair, causing several strands to come loose from their ponytail. “But still...”


End file.
